The Alternative to Watching tRump

It was a pretty laid back day today. I got a back massage. My handyman finished building my shed. I putzed around, doing laundry, blowing the leaves off of my deck, watering my herbs. I took a nice long walk down on the waterfront and bought some Thai food at the fresh market to take home for dinner.

It was hot today, again. In the high 80’s. I’m not complaining though. It was nice out on my deck with the shade of the tree. There was a nice sea breeze blowing by the water. The town and and market were really busy. Definitely in season now.

I’m not looking forward to having oral surgery Thursday. I am going to make some chicken soup and some mac and cheese tomorrow, so I’ll have soft, easy food to eat while the gum heals and I’m in pain. I wish I were not alone, but that’s the way it is. My friends may come over to see me, but I’ll probably be doped up on Percosets and not really much company.

I’ll be fine. L will be home Saturday, I think. I hope to be making him dinner Sunday or Monday.

I sent a message to S, asking if he was ok, because that phantom smoke alarm thing just got to me. He hasn’t answered my message. I don’t know if he’s refusing to talk to me, because I refused to talk to him, or if something really happened to him. Or, if maybe the alarm wasn’t a warning for me, to be careful. But I will let it go, there is no way for me to find out and I wasted enough worry over him already. I just wanted to be a friend, because I think he’s fairly alone at this point. But whatever, I have a good life here, and I’m not going to let a phantom smoke alarm mess that up. He can reach me if he needs a friend. If he’s playing the game, the one where he won’t talk to me cuz I didn’t talk to him, he can keep playing it alone. I didn’t talk to him because it’s felt unsafe for me to do it. If he can’t understand my fear, well….he should just keep playing by himself. I think, based on history, it’s pretty well founded.

Besides, I have L in my head at the moment, and am looking forward to whatever might happen there.

tRump is giving his address right now, and I cannot stand to watch him. I’d have nightmares. I’ll get the main points of it off of social media and my news outlet subscriptions. I just can’t give him any of my time or energy. I’m tired anyway, so I think I’ll go to bed and read.

G’night all. Love and light.

Dancing Without Touching

no-touching

In fragile circumstance
We danced
Around the truth
So close, so close
Without touching.

The passion arose
And fell
It swirled and circled
Never ending
Never beginning.

Just wanting to know.
Begging, of all things,
Don’t disappear from the dance.
But he did….
Only to resurface at the point
of my exhaustion.

Exhaustion from weeks and months
Of dancing around the truth.
Of sleepless nights,
Of playing the game.

I agreed to the game,
It was my idea!
But I didn’t understand the rules.
They weren’t the ones I had laid down.
Now, I just ask….
What has happened?

In my sleep,
I am disturbed
Frightened.
Presence makes me aware.
And the disappearing act continues
Cruelly.

It was always cruel.
Trying to disavow a connection
That remains
Across time and space.
Unbreakable.

By Deborah E. Dayen

Picture from Yourtango.com via Google Images

Looking For A Little Balance

There was some funny stuff on FB this morning. There was a video taken by a guy who tied a bike to a string and waited for people to steal it. When they did and got about 50 feet away, down a steep hill, the string ran out and they went flying off the bike. Ok, it looked painful. So that wasn’t funny. Maybe their necks got broken because they stole a bike. I guess that’s not so funny……

There was a meme, it said, “What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Retired…..” Yes, I can laugh at that because I am. Retired. Yesterday, Monday, I walked at the beach, I bought a piece of old driftwood for my friend to make a sign on to put by my front door. The sign will say “Avalon”. I then went to the Veterans Art Center and picked up my friend and we went for a pizza buffet. It was 87° and sunny. Summer weather. Yep, I was happy.

I think that was it. Most of my feed on FB totally disturbs me. Like, the EPA’s plan to allow the unrestricted dumping of fracking waste water into the Gulf of Mexico. WHAT? Did you see the pics I put up of the beautiful Gulf the other day, shades of turquoise and white sandy beaches? Imagine it, full of fracking waste water. Nice brownish gray, the beaches the same color, at least to the high tide line. And dead fish and other sea life making that tide line.

Then there was our Tweeter-in-chief saying “We need to start winning wars again.” I can’t even possibly go to that mindset. I thought we needed to continue trying to eliminate war, through caring, educating, feeding, helping, loving our fellow man. God I’m such a Pollyanna. Now we have a president who wants to win wars, not stop them. And he has a band of monkeys in Congress who will follow him into hell.

Then there is an article, on Rachel Maddow’s page, exposing Paul Ryan’s with a forked tongue, trying to back up the Orange One at the same time trying to distance himself. Knowing, I’m sure, that at some point the whole thing is going to crash in on him, and he wants to be able to prove his deniability. He really is a snake. A disgusting one. He should be leading the charge to make tRump accountable, he’s the frigging Speaker of the House. Instead he’s slithering on his belly.

There is Tweeter-in-chief telling the EPA that they have to determine if the Obama directives for the environment hurt the economy. Because you know, the economy is a tangible thing. And what the outcome to our earth doesn’t matter, because he’s 70 and will be dead by the time the outcome manifests.

There’s an article about how esteemed psychologists and psychiatrists are evaluating tRumps mental state, his fitness to hold office. And another one where a group of esteemed lawyers are trying to get KellyAnne Conway disbarred for all the lies she’s told. That stuff is I guess, half way funny, except that it’s all true, the president is unstable to the max and wants to win wars, and has his hand on the nuclear codes. And her…well she’s just a fly in the ointment, but deserves to be held accountable for making stuff up to the country. Like, the Bowling Green Massacre..

Ok….there was some other funny stuff. A kangaroo frolicking in the waves on an idyllic beach in Australia. There was a dog who talks back to it’s master. There was a video of a little girl, telling her father that she told the teacher that there was lots of weed at their house. Weed, she showed him, like in the grass. She was adorable.

I need the funny stuff, to balance out the incredibly awful stuff that is going on in this country at the moment. I don’t watch the news much, because it’s basically all there is, is bad news about the path this narcissistic psychopath has taken us on. Sometimes I don’t want to know anymore about it. Just that my level gets “full” and I can’t wrap my head around any more of it. I’m showing my age, by my inability to deal with this shit.

How did so many people get to so much power that are so fucking nuts? We elected them. We didn’t pay any attention to the gerrymandering of districts in swing states. Half of us didn’t give a shit enough to even vote. As if inaction removes one from accountability when a psychopath pushes the wrong button. All my life, at least as an adult, I’ve been preaching that inaction is also an action. So, the folks that didn’t vote allowed this to go on, by their indifference to the fact that it would. Just like Paul Ryan and all of his cronies inaction in regard to stopping this madness won’t save their jobs when the thing implodes.

Well, I’m done with it today. I have done my part, raised my voice, tried to be heard. My mind just can’t accommodate dealing with any more of this for awhile. I’m going do my morning meditation, to go get a back massage for the damaged disks in my neck and back, and take a walk by the water. My shed is almost finished, so I may be able to move some of this stuff out of my house by the end of the day, stuff that belongs in the shed. Listen to some music. Talk to people I love. Who knows, maybe work on my taxes. Try to remember that the world is still a beautiful place, the Orange one has not changed that yet.

Love and light, all.