It’s Been A Nice Couple Days

It’s been a couple of nice days. I’ve not been able to get into the storage box my ex has, because the atty is waiting for them to call back, so she can pay the past due fees. So we’ve had the day off for a couple of days.

Yesterday we went out in my friend’s boat, on the Connecticut River. It was a beautiful day, about 80° and dry, clear blue sky and very dry. We went down to the mouth of the river, just for me so I could see my old cruising grounds of Long Island Sound. We anchoredd in front of Katherine Hepburn’s house and had lunch. It was so nice to be in a boat again. Just felt so good. I was able to show Dan where the Race was, and Plum Island, (where they sent Hannibal Lector in the movie Silence of the Lambs), Long Island. The water was calm, with just a slight breeze. It was lovely.

Today we got breakfast at a little breakfast diner up the road, and then I took Dan to New London. I wanted him to see the club where the slip I owned was, and the whole area. It’s an old whaling town, and is kinda cool. We ate lunch at an outdoor place on the water nearby, fish and chips, clam fritters. Mmmm. It was fun.

I also stopped at the place where I buy all my stones and jewelry making supplies, and I spent $160. Yikes. Had to get out of there, lol. But it was fun to be back there and see all the amazing stuff they have.

Now we’re back at my friends. We’re waiting for a pizza to be delivered, and just sitting around talking. Our friends had to work today and will tomorrow also.

I’m really enjoying visiting and hanging out on my old stomping grounds and including Dan in all of it. It’s amazing how well we get along, and how well he gets along with all my friends. I really have been blessed to have him in my life.

Love and light, to everyone.

Day Two Accomplished

This job is getting old, lol. Yesterday we finished the sorting and marking of his stuff. So, the biggest part of that portion of the job is completed. I found more notes that he made by his computer and they were CREEPY. A numbered list of stuff, thaat he thought happened to my son and I. Really some of it disgusting. I was freaking out a little, and then I looked up and saw Dan, and just threw the stuff away, realizing it’s the rantings of a crazy man, and not my life. I was so grateful, again, that he was there.

I heard from the conservator, and we will resume dealing with this mess tomorrow.

We stopped at the grocery store and picked up things to make dinner for my friends. We made our mango chicken, with rice and a salad. It came out really good, and they appreciated the effort. Today they are taking us out in their boat on the Connecticut river. I’m pretty excited about that! It’s the first time I’ve been in a boat since I was out with them on July 4th last year.

Last night after we ate we sat around talking, telling stories, having a smoke. It was so funny, we laughed so much. It made me think of when I first met Dan and we were getting to know each other. He learned of my history with men, and said he couldn’t believe I wasn’t jaded toward all men. I said to him, “I’m not because I know good men. My father was a good man. My friends are married to good men. I knew they were out there.” And I finally had one cross my path.

Off to spend a relaxing day with my friends and my man. Thanks for reading. Love and light.

Day One

The first day dealiing with the ex’s mess was as productive as it could have been. We got all the paperwork we needed from the conservator, and headed for the cottage he lived in.

What a mess. Filthy, moldy, and messy. Odd that he had a desktop computer that was less than a year old. Found notes by it, with FBI written on them (he thought he worked for the FBI and that my old house was the headquarters. O.o) It overwhelmed me at first, and Dan just got to work disconnecting and carefully wrapping it all up. We began to just sort, what was valuable and worth saving, what needed to be thrown out. We had to leave and go get some cleaning fluids, and paper towels, and toilet paper. Ugh.

We found keys to one of the cars, but nothing is in good shape. We will probably finish up there on Monday, and then try to get into his storage unit.

We left about 2 yesterday, and then I went to my bff’s house where she was having Ladies Day at her pool/deck. I got there about 3. My bff I’m staying with (I have more than one, lol) was there and a bunch of my other friends. It was good to see them all. At about 5:30 Dan and Joe (my friend’s husband that we’re staying with) came over and one other girl’s husbands, and we ordered pizza and wings and hung out there til dark. It was so good. Soothing for the soul. That’s something we used to do with some regularity.

It’s nice to instersperce the unpleasant job with seeing people I’ve known my lifetime. I’m so happy that everyone likes Dan. Like one said, he’s social, he’s funny, he’s good looking….he’s NORMAL!”

Today is cloudy and cool, a good day to go over there and get a lot done. In a few days we’ll be done there, and I won’t ever have to go back again. That alone is a relaxing thought.

Love and light to all.

Back in Connecticut!

I’m here! The flights were good, although the second one was late for no apparent reason. We boarded the connecting flight in Ft. Lauderdale and sat on the tarmac for about 20 min to a half hour. But alls well that ends well.

My girlfriend picked us up, and it was like I never left. We chatted away the 40 minute ride to her house. The last two nights I was in CT I stayed at her house and now its where I returned to. I love it, I know where her silverware and coffee cups are.

She had a great dinner for us, and my other best friend and her hubby. They all really seemed to love Dan. My girlfriends told me, when the three of us were alone, “He’s a KEEPER Deb! He’s so handsome and he’s so nice!” It was awesome. He was brought right into the circle. My friends were so happy to see me so happy.

Last night I said, “What could be better than to be with my BFFs and Dan?” I had a good life here, despite my ex. And I have a good life in FL. And now they are seamlessly meshed together.

We laughed and laughed for hours. My stomach literally hurts from it.

My other friend who came to dinner is having a girls day at her house on her deck and by her pool. I told her I have to get over to my ex’s cottage today and start going through stuff, but I’m going to go a little later, because a lot of my other friends will be there.

I talked to the atty, who is going to give me all the documentation to give to my ex’s landlord, so I can get in the cottage. I kind of plan to use the day today to assess what needs to be done, and get together the things I need. I can start sorting his stuff into what will be thrown out and what will be kept.

It’s all good. I have no trepidation about going over there, mostly because Dan will be with me. He’s so much support, thoughtful, and he loves me. That this man’s path crossed paths mine when it did.

Time to get moving. Love and light.

Middle Of The Night Musings

I slept for an hour and a half, and woke up and am too fidgety, even with the Ambien. So, I’m doing what I do. Writing it out.

Soon, I’ll be with my friends, and Dan will be included in that circle. I’m happy about that. I’m happy to show him my places. Tonight I got an email from the Block Island Express, which used to be one of my favorite summer trips. Maybe we’ll do that! Or Newport RI. Or both.

But first before the fun starts, I have to call the atty when I get in and find out the status of the whole situation. Find ouf it he’s being committed somewhere, and did her appointment go through, and can she give me a copy of the appointment for the landlord so that I can have access to his stuff. And can I pick it up Friday morning and go over there?

If all answers are yes, which I expect, then Friday I’ll get the paperwork from her, just a short drive, and then will meet the landlord. And will find myself in my old neighborhood for the day. There is no fence between the cottage and my old house. It sits there, looking doomed, disregarded, sad, given up. It could have been such a nice house. The tallest tree on the lake is in front of it, a tulip tree. The yard is terraced down to the lake. There is lots of mountain laurel around the house, and other shrubs now overgrown and hiding the windows, I’m sure. The guy who bought it hasn’t done anything with it yet. There are no lost dreams there anymore, because my dream the last years I was there was to get out of there. I’ve not missed my house on the lake for a moment since I left. It could have been, but it wasn’t. I accepted that a long time ago.

I wish I’d thought to bring a smudge stick for the cottage, and cleanse some of his energy out of there.

But I’ll see my old next door neighbors, and we’ll talk, and I’m betting they will want to help. The friends I’m staying with will probably come over too, so that will be nice. And if not, it’s nice enough that they are having us.

Dan has been so tender, so sweet. He’s been my rock, just loving me. Being who and what I need every minute. It is not a coincidence we found each other when we did.

Time to go back to bed, and try to sleep. Maybe do a little meditation first to quiet my mind.

Love and light all.

Ready To Go

I’m ready. Packed. Printed out our boarding passes. The house is cleaned and the fridge is cleaned out. The handyman came and put up my new gutter today. I’m leaving nothing undone.

Tomorrow this time, we’ll be with my peeps. We’ll be laughing, and talking, and catching up on the last 10 months. Dan and I both way overpacked, because we packed lots of clothes for the weather like it is here, which it won’t be there. Because, really, that’s the kind of clothes we have mostly. Then, we realized it will be much cooler there, especially at night, so threw in some jeans and longsleeved T’s, and a jacket or two.

Uber is picking us up at Dan’s at 6:30 tomorrow. We are happy that we both got TSA pre-check on our boarding passes, even though Dan’s Known Traveler Number has not come through yet. We should have time to get a bite to eat at the airport after we get to our gate.

I’ve heard the old wisdom, that you can never go home again. I’m sure things will be different, but not that much, up there. I look at being with my friends as going home. I look at dealing with my ex’s stuff, next door to the house where I lived 30 years, as not even close to going home. I am dissociated from it. I don’t think I have any pain, or anger, or any emotion at all for it. A bit for my ex, at the way his life has turned out. But his life is of his own choosing. What has happened to him is no one’s fault but his own. He isolated himself. No one could stop him.

I’ll take the joy that I find from this visit, and do the work that has to be done. It will all be good. I’m excited.

Love and light to all.

Intentions and Intuition

I don’t have much time to write this morning because I have a lot to do to be able to leave my house for a couple weeks. But I have a few things I want to write out, so here I am.

I am doing the new Oprah/Deepak 21 day free meditation called Desire and Destiny. I had a couple days to catch up on so listened to all of them and then meditated. It was kind of cool, because it reminded me that we need to set intentions for everything we do. Whenever you say something, or do something, we have to think about what the intention is that is behind the action. And we have to be honest. In order to be true, we have to listen to our intuition and accept ourselves. I have done a lot of questioning my intentions and listening to my intuition with this trip north.

What is my intention in helping to inventory my ex’s belongings? It is purely self-serving. He owes me money, a lot of it. I want to make sure that I know what is there, and that we can do everything possible to protect it from going to the state to pay for his care. It’s about the money. It sounds cold, but finances are usually hard, cold, and emotionless. I don’t want to be involved in his life. I know that this will be hard, I’ve thought a lot about spending time at the scene of the crime, trying to deal with any triggers that might be there. It is mostly sadness now, that I feel. I just don’t know how his thinking was so skewed when we were together. So screwed up that it now has him delusional in his denial of it.

I thank God every minute for Dan in my life, for his willingness to go with me, for his strong steadfast love that will be there for me to lean on if I need it.

So…the intentions are set. I am pretty good at listening to my intuition. Another part of my intention on going up there is to see the friends who were my surrogate family for the last 20 to 25 years. I’ve contacted everyone I want to make sure I see, and I know I will see others. And another part is to be able to include Dan in my life up there. It was a life I loved, and to share it with him is a blessing.

The trip will be hard, it will also be wonderful. I’m staying with one of my closest friends, the one who drove to Florida with me. And she’s having my other closest friend and her husband over for dinner the night we get there. Dan will fit right into that circle.

My blogging will be sporadic over the next couple weeks, I am sure. But since this is how I deal with things in my life, I’m sure I’ll be around. Love and light to all.