I’m still angry this morning. At hm for continuing to push his agenda that I clearly stated I didn’t want. For months I have stated it. For months he has continued. The last time he came to me with the understanding that we’d spend the day together. And then he changed his mind in the morning, and left me. Disrespect. Selfishness. Egocentric. UGH.
I’m angry at myself, for continuing to offer him my whole self, when it clearly was not wanted or appreciated. For not walking away for good. Oh I walked, many times, and when he’d pull me back, I’d willingly go, like some hypnotized zombie. That’s not who I am.
I wrote just yesterday, that if I’m gonna miss him then let me miss him and get over it and move on, or have the longing fulfilled. I will, without a doubt, get over it and move on. Because that’s what I do. I don’t waste a lot of time grieving over what never could be. I’ll give it all I have, to make it work. Once I come to terms with the reality that it will never work, I’ll walk and never look back. I’m about 100 miles away now, with a lot more walking in front of me, and the view is lovely,.
I sent him a text last night, telling him not to try to reach me. To find a hooker if he’s horny (because that way he can have sex with no attachment). Then I blocked him, just to make sure I wasn’t disturbed.
Maybe he won’t try. I hope. I hope he goes off and does his “being free” thing. That’s what I’m gong to do. Be free until I find someone who wants what I have to offer, and offers what I want to have. I know he’s out there somewhere.
Just to prove my point, I got a text from A yesterday, who is staying in the Michigan UP, and has very erratic phone service. He said, “I miss wishing you good morning and good night every day. It’s just such a nice way to start and end a day.”
WTF was I doing, attaching myself to someone who is incapable of a thought like that?
This is how I sit with my anger. I write about it, and then it disappears. Ok, vent over for now. I may have one or two more as I continue my walk, but eventually, I’ll be back in that happy place all the time.
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
This reminds me of me about 10 years ago. I had a horrible one year rebound after my divorce, and then a three year relationship that wasn’t a good fit. It was hard to walk away from both of them, but I’m so glad I did so I could work on me and make room for the one who IS a good fit. It sounds like you are moving in the right direction for you. I wish you the best on this journey. By the way, I found you on Sabisuit’s blog and I love water.
I love Sabiscuut’s blog! And thank you for your kind words. I didn’t date after my divorce for almost 7 years and I STILL picked the wrong guy!!! I think I’ve got it now!! Gonna go check out your blog now!! 😀