Good To Have Friends…..

I came home last night and there was a long narrow box on my doorstep, from QVC. I don’t ever order from them, I couldn’t imagine what it was. When I got it inside I saw that it had “live plant” on the outside of the box. It was a beautiful hibiscus from my oldest bestie in Iowa. We have known each other since we were 11 years old. I assume it is an early birthday present. She never forgets a birthday. (I’m the kind of person who’s grateful for FB reminders….) What a lovely thing to find, on my doorstep. I will try to plant it tomorrow, if I can muster one shred of energy, LOL.

So grateful for old friends. This past week has been so chaotic, between the grand opening today, and the drama with S, punctuated by a lovely wonderful evening with L . I am so happy to have a reminder of when times were simple and peaceful, and that I am so blessed with old friends, and new. So blessed with a rich full life.

I feel kinda bad writing about all the drama, but I needed to get it out. I will probably delete it at some point, it just isn’t really representative of who I am. But, then again, it is true stuff, that happened, and maybe leaving it up is a good reminder. I don’t know. I have left up all the other drama I’ve had with him, and when I see that someone has randomly read it a year later, I find myself wishing it weren’t there. It seems dishonest to take it down, on one hand. And on the other, it seems to give life to something I don’t want any part of any more. I’ll think about it when I’m not so tired, lol.

Well, off to get showered and dressed. It’s a big deal, I hope they have a good turnout, for all the work people have put into this. Love and light, all.

When Is An Apology Real?

I just got home from a long day trying to prepare the art center for the grand opening tomorrow. Hanging more art, and cataloging all of it, organizing the spreadsheets so that the we can know which gallery each piece of art hangs in. I am just amazed at the scope of this project, how much participation they have received, the volumes of art that is on display. I felt guilty leaving tonight, but my feet and ankles were just done after 8 or 9 hours of continuously being on them. So I went home, and hopefully will be of more use to them tomorrow than I could be if I stayed later tonight.

Most of the work I did today was fairly mindless, really, though. So I had a lot of time to think. I heard from the nameless one again….I know, I know. Ridiculous. I just kept thinking about how he keeps behaving in ways for which he has to apologize.  Why he can’t change his behavior, but he can’t. An apology which says, “I agree with everything you said” doesn’t mean a whole lot when you’ve heard it so many times. The behavior stays the same….I’ve begged him to leave me alone, and maybe he will now. I also actually feel genuine compassion for B. My anger with him had nothing to do with her, because I knew what he was up to.  He just managed to piss me off royally just by his arrogance, and his narcissism, and I just am so sick of it.  I was sick of it in December.  Didn’t talk to him for a couple months, but then the damn smoke alarm thing, geezus.   However, B didn’t know, apparently (even though I’d mentioned it before in my blog)…and he was telling her something else, from what I gather. I don’t know exactly what he was telling her, and I don’t want to know=. I was told he was not with her, but I guess she believed he was trying to turn over a new leaf. While he was not, while he was continuing with the same behavior he did 18 months ago, and it’s been pretty much on-going since I moved.  The only saving grace was that I am now 1500 miles away, and none of our conversations could be acted on.

Oh, I’m running on, just trying to think my way through the tangled web of lies, that somehow caught my leg and pulled me in. I just feel for her, to be blindsided yet again. But I’m so happy to be out of that triangle, and game that he plays. I feel bad for him, to not be able to change such self destructive behavior.

And I’m so happy to be having such a cool guy as L make me dinner next week. Such a big difference.

So tomorrow will be busy, and fun. Gonna get some dinner and rest. Love and light, everyone.

An Apology

I don’t have much to write this morning. I’m tired, and I’m going to go to the Art Center in a little while and do what I can to help. I did want to say that I got an apology via voice mail for that angry message yesterday. He really doesn’t want to be so angry and mean, and I knew that. I knew that he knew somewhere it was not my actions that lead to his demise. I hope the whole ugly episode can be let go, and we can move on with our separate lives, and find happiness.

I’m glad I got to go to open mic and just relax for a couple hours. Like my friend said, it soothes the soul. I am still very blessed, with friends and family, and a rich, full life.

Love and light to all.

Feels Like I’m Working Again


What a busy busy day. I felt like I was working again, lol. I guess I was. On my feet for the better part of 8 hours. We hung about 100 paintings. There were 5 or 6 of us trying to place them all, group them in some kind of order, tag them all with the artists name and information. We have 4 galleries, each with maybe 30-50 paintings. My friend who is the curator has to try to juggle everyone’s opinions, and then do what she thinks is right. So many decisions, she was pretty spent by the end of the day. She is so happy to have someone there with her, who is like family. I brought her a sandwich to have for lunch, and will probably do the same tomorrow. Then I had her come to my house, and we ate left over pot roast, and then headed over for an evening of relaxation at open mic night. Tomorrow we go back and finish up the main gallery, and a couple of other smaller rooms in the galleries we did today.

I was happy to see my good friend at open mic, and I sat with him, as usual. This week he sang. He’s such a sweet man. Someone was playing the blues, an old blues song, and I just closed my eyes and was swaying to the music. He leaned over and said, “the blues just soothes the soul doesn’t it.” Yeah, he gets me, for sure. It’s so nice to have a close male friend, who is and forever will be just a good friend. We didn’t talk much tonight, but I could tell him anything, and he’d listen, and try to offer some help.

It was so nice out tonight. I just got home at about 10 pm and it was still 70°. There was a bit of a breeze blowing, but it was so nice to sit outside for a couple hours, and listen to music, and talk to friends, and not be cold. Sipped on some ice tea tonight, cherry hisbiscus tea.  It was good!  My friends were all so happy for me, that my son is coming to visit. They still want to have another meeting at my house, so maybe next week. Between the grand opening and my son coming.

Well, off to bed. Love and light everyone.

Pizza, and Other Tidbits

I’m sure some of you have iPhones. The newer ones, and maybe even older ones, now will translate a voice mail into text. It can get pretty funny as all voice to text can, although I will say it’s surprisingly accurate at most times.

Anyway, I got an angry voice mail yesterday, from the nameless one. I have had a few voicemails from him in the last few days, all saying he just wanted to talk to me, he wasn’t angry, etc. Instead of calling him, which would only lead to an angry exchange, (because I was still angry, even if he wasn’t, at the audacious things he said and the lies) I sent him an email asking him to just let it go, and also told him and posted on here that I was seeing L last night. The voicemail that I received after that went from “please call me.” to calling me a “piece of shit” for ruining his relationship with B. (I did email him and ask him to consider that it was the lies he told both of us that did him in with her, particularly telling me that he was not “with” her, that they were just friends who had coffee together occasionally. Seriously, he’s out shopping for women, and I’m the cause of his demise? Hmmm. I think not. Narcissist….)

The iPhone however, didn’t comprehend “piece of shit” and changed it into his calling me a “pizza”. It really made me laugh. Pizza. Don’t think I’ve ever been called pizza before! LOL. Really took that anger and kind of made me laugh at it.

So ends the last act in that ridiculous drama. Pizza. With pepperoni, please….

My dinner with L was wonderful. He’s going to cook for me early next week. We talked and laughed and just enjoyed each other’s company. Respectful, and kind, and and funny, and a little shy, which is very endearing on a big, good-looking, football player type! Can’t wait to see him again.

I thought my cough was gone, since I didn’t cough all day yesterday. Until he got here, and kept making me laugh, deep belly laughs that made me cough….I was a little embarrassed! But it didn’t seem to put a damper on us, so that was good.

Early next week is a good time to see him again, because I will be very busy with the grand opening for the Veterans Art Center for the next few days. I think the actual event will be a lot of fun. I’m hoping that a lot of vets artwork is sold and that they make a lot of money, as well as the center raises a lot. It’s such a wonderful project. Today I’ll go over and help my bestie who’s the curator to get all the galleries organized. She said we’ve gotten in 100’s of pieces of amazing artwork for it.

And I have open mic tonight.  Won’t be home too much today!

Exciting things happening here. The shift I felt a week or so ago is well underway, and life is amazing. Love and light, everyone.

All Good Things This Morning

Nothing like a good night’s sleep. I was asleep by 9:30, and slept straight through until 5:45 this morning. My cough is gone, I feel rested for the first time in 2 days. It’s awesome, really. I skipped my massage yesterday, and my Veterans Art Center meeting. You know I was tired if I didn’t get the massage, lol. I was afraid if I wasn’t coughing my brains out on her table, I’d fall asleep there, lol. Better not to go, than be the client from hell.

I am so excited to see my son. OMG, 9 months is too long not to see your child, even though we talk every day. Don’t want to go that long again! We will have such a good time! The baseball game, maybe go kayaking, go to my sisters house, the beach….so much to show him and do with him. Maybe I can take him to open mic night! I plan to go out there this summer, and we’ve talked about meeting in CT too at some point, because we both miss our friends there.

The weather here is going to be around 80° all week, I think that will be the norm from now on. 80° is my favorite temperature. Hot, but not too hot. The humidity is very low this time of year. A couple more months and it will be hot and sticky, but right now, it’s perfect. Hot and sticky is a trade off for not having to deal with 10° and piles of snow, and that’s a good trade in my book any day!

Tonight I’m going to make that dinner for L that I kept telling him I’d keep warm while he was gone. Looking very forward to that. I have a few things to go get this morning for it. We should have a good time, we laugh a lot together.

I am so grateful this morning, for the way my life has turned out, and for the people who are in it. Feeling very blessed, as always. Love and light to all.