Update

I guess I am the Covid kid. Or, more accurately, the Covid fully grown old lady. I am on Day 13 of this insidious disease. Everyone else I know who got it, had about a week of it, and they tested negative. My last test was this morning, and it was still positive, a nice dark test line. But I was only hopeful but I’m still real tired. So here I am.

How have I been spending my time? Let’s see. Monday Dan had to put his brother in a rehab facility. Not the kind for drugs. He’d been in the hospital with a number of serious issues. He was in for 11 days, half of it in ICU. In order for Dan to get him to the facility, he needed my car, because his brother is a big guy, with stitches from surgery, and an infection in his foot, and is unable to climb up in Dan’s truck. I had to drive over to Dan’s and switch vehicles with him. I was more than happy to escape the confines of my house for an hour or so.

I drove the truck home, and started to turn in my driveway. Keep in mind this truck is a Ford F150, with a back seat and long bed. As I turned into the driveway, I just forgot that I was not in my tiny Nissan Versa and didn’t turn wide enough to avoid scraping the side of the truck with the mailbox. I got out of the car and looked at the ugly scrapes down the passenger side of the truck. I pulled all the way into the driveway, went in the house, and began looking for some wax for the truck. Forget about how tired I was by now, still coughing and sneezing and blowing my nose, and my back hurt because I’ve not been able to exercise or anything that I need to do to continue building the strength in my thigh, back, and hip because I have Covid.

But nevermind, I was only concerned at this point with getting the mess off Dan’s truck, trying to get it looking better for when he saw it. I will admit, it triggered me something terrible because if Dan had been my ex, I would have paid the price for lapse in concentration. Finally I did a little self-talk and reminded myself that Dan would not kill me, or scream at me, or any of the shit my ex would do. I found some wax we’d used on the boat and got a couple rags, and got all the paint off of his truck. It took me at least an hour and every bit of energy I could muster.

I didn’t tell him about it, then. Because he had so much he was dealing with. His brother who was refusing so much of his treatment, and didn’t want to go to the rehab center. In the meantime, Dan was running over to his house (he lives about 500’ from Dan) to take care of everything for his brother. Literally. He was exhausted. I guess his brother realized at some point what he was doing to Dan, and stopped being so contrary. I didn’t tell him until today. He was, in his normal fashion, not angry, very forgiving. Knowing I was still really sick, and probably shouldn’t have taken it upon myself to handle the exchange of vehicles. But I begged him to not take it on himself. I was responsible, and I would fix it.

He’s such a good man. Didn’t flip out, put it on the back burner, and said we’d deal with it at another time. Not now, not with all the stuff going on with his brother. And of course, he still has to care for his 95 year old mother. Who comes with her own set of issues, but that’s another story for another day. And then there’s me, with Covid.

I went out this morning and looked at the truck, and it didn’t look half as bad as I’d thought. Not as big a deal as I thought.

Yesterday my BFF here in town went to the grocery store for me. I was so grateful. She actually gave me the Covid, unknowingly. She’d been over a few days before I got it, had a headache so she didn’t stay long. But, long enough. She kept saying how terrible she felt that I got it from her. And I know she did, but I told her if I didn’t get it from her, I would have gotten it from someone, because by now, I have not been as careful around others as I used to be. She brought my groceries and we sat on the deck for a little while chatting. It was SO nice, to feel well enough to do that, to sit and chat with her. We’ve been talking on the phone, and text, every day. But it was nice to have face to face contact.

It seems that the recovery from Covid can be slow for some of us. I have a weak immune system because of RA and diabetes. So I guess it just takes longer to rid your body of it. I’ll take another test on Sunday. Maybe it will be negative.

I am so glad that the NHL playoffs are on, because the Tampa Bay Lightning are in the playoffs, and they have won the Stanley Cup the last two years. They are going for a 3-peat. I’m very excited about it. Something fun to look forward to.

I am supposed to host our writers group on Sunday, but I think I will push it off for a week. I will probably be negative by Sunday, but still, the effects will be lingering, mostly the exhaustion. I am grateful for the free tests I got from the Covid.gov site, and from Walgreens. I got 16 I have 10 left, I think.

I’ve been reading a lot too. And taking naps. My house is in disarray, for me. Last night I made myself a nice dinner for the first time in 12 days. It tasted good, but it didn’t set well in my stomach immediately. I was happy it tasted good, because Covid really does take your sense of taste and smell. So I was obviously getting better, because I could smell and taste.

I totally missed the full moon eclipse. Didn’t even know about it. I’m glad a lot of people got good pictures and video on FB.

I guess the worst thing about this is that you have to go it alone for as long as it takes. Dan cannot even come over, and I can’t go there. Your friends call and text and chat but it’s not the same. It’s just that you feel shitty, and you just have to stick it out alone.

But I need to stop, this sounds like huge whine and I guess it is. The intention is not to elicit sympathy for this, because I got it so much less severely than many people. I got out of it without a hospital stay, I got out of it with my life. A million people in this country did not. I am grateful. Extremely so.

Love and light everyone.

Yep, I Got Covid

Well….I got Covid. Friday I took a test which was negative. (I was exposed on Wednesday.) Saturday I started with the chills, and a slight fever, so I took another test and it was VERY positive. Two bold lines. So I was at Dan’s, but within an hour of that test I was heading home. By the time I got home and all day yesterday (Sunday) My temp was just under 101°, and I felt like shit. Roaring headache, exhaustion and a lot of coughing.

Just like when I was sick after that cruise at the end of 2019. Which reinforces my belief that I had it then.

The good thing is that I called my dr’s office on Saturday and she called me back, and gave me a script for one of the new Covid anti-virals allowed under FDA emergency authorization. I got it filled Sunday, along with a med for nausea, (because the anti-viral is strong and can make you nauseous, and Covid already does a good job of that) and took my first dose when I went to bed last night. It seems to be helping. No headache today, the nausea was gone, as was the fever. Just exhaustion, and some coughing. I feel lucky. My friend can’t even get ahold of her dr, he doesn’t return her call. Meanwhile, my dr called me twice on Saturday and once on Sunday, and made sure to tell me which drugstore I could go to to get this, because they don’t all have it.

Like I said, I feel lucky. Today I just have what is just like a bad cold. But I will have to stay isolated and quarantined anyway, til I pull a negative test. So I’ll get a few naps, and read some of the pile of books I have, and watch TV. Dan had a negative test today, but it’s only been 48 hours since I exposed him. Hope it stays negative through the week.

I don’t have much to talk about since I’ve been in a prone position for a few days now. I guess I’ll go find something new on TV, maybe make some popcorn.

Love and light, everyone. Stay safe and well.

Things I Am sick Of

I am so fucking sick of Covid. Not that I’ve had it, well, not for sure. I’m pretty sure I had it at the end of December 2019 when I walked off the Norwiegian Dawn in Tampa after a week long cruise from hell. Back then, there was no knowledge that this horrible disease was going to take over very facet of our lives for what is going on 3 years.

Aside from the end of December 2019 through the beginning of January 2020, I have not had Covid. So that’s a lucky thing, right?

Yes it is. Because Covid sucks and I have known too many people who were not lucky, and too many who never recovered. So, please don’t mistake the rancor I have for Covid for glibness.

Now we have this strain that is extremely contagious but doesn’t seem to be so lethal. Way more people get it, way less people die from it. Yesterday one of my dearest friends came over, as she is wont to do, and spent somewhere in the vicinity of 90 minutes. She said she had a headache when she got here, so wasn’t staying long. When she went home, she took a covid test and it was positive. So was her husband. Now, I’ m isolating for a couple days, while I wait til it’s been long enough since my exposure, if I was exposed, to test. Which will be tomorrow.

I’m so sick of this. Sick of my friends being sick, not to mention family. Sick of isolating and quarantining.

Next is rats. I have one (or maybe a few) that got trapped under the house when I had it wrapped with stainless steel mesh around the base last week. Any way it died, or they did, under my deck where it abuts my guest room, and now the guest room stinks, as well as out on the deck so I can’t sit outside. The people who did the exterminating came back and made sure it wasn’t somewhere in the attic. So, all I can do is wait for the f’n thing to finish decomposing, so I can get my home back. I think that’s the last of them, these (or this) trapped ones. I hope and pray. Geezus.

Why am I eating frozen pizza for dinner? I guess because for $6 I can eat a not-very-good pizza, or pay $20 for one that is maybe a step up, but not worth $20. Florida is not the best place to find a pizza. I would give anything to have a New York or Boston good pizza. Last night we ordered Chinese for dinner to eat during the hockey game. It’s the first round of the Stanley Cup playoffs and the Tampa Bay Lightning are tied 1 game each with the Toronto Maple Leafs. The Chinese was better than the frozen pizza.

I came home from Dan’s early today, before noon, because if I do have Covid I didn’t want him to get it. I found out about my friend last night, too late to go home. I tried sleeping on the edge of the bed facing away from him so as not to breathe on him. It worked for the most part. But today when I got home I slept in my recliner on and off for a couple hours. I guess I didn’t sleep as well as I thought.

But really, all is well for the moment. My sick friends are better. Tomorrow I will test for Covid but I don’t think I have it. And maybe the Lightning will win on home ice.

Love and light to everyone.

Lots of Company

I’ve spent the last 2 weeks with family and old friends. First my friends from CT, with whom I’ve been friends for 28 years, since we met when our kids attended story hour at the library when they were 2. It was wonderful to see them, and spend time with them. I hadn’t seen them for maybe 4 or 5 years. They were here for 3 or 4 days. Their oldest daughter and Bruce were born 3 hours apart. And their daughter just told us she’s pregnant, due in October. So wonderful

Then, not quite a week later my younger sis came for a week. We went to breakfast the first morning then headed to our older sisters. Older sis has just moved into a beautiful new house, and is the hostess with the mostest. We got some beach time in, and we got to go to the beach market that takes place twice a week on Coquina Beach on Anna Maria Island. Coquina is, in my humble opinion, one of the most beautiful beaches in the country, if not the world.

We came back after 5 days, and two other friends from CT came for a couple of days. This couple holds such a special place in my heart. They did sound healings twice a month, at least, and I attended almost all of them for about a decade. They taught me everything I know about it. It is/was such a huge part of my life, and led to Dan and I doing sound healings on the beach. But even more important, or at least equally, is the friendship we developed over that decade. I have missed them, and it was just so wonderful to reconnect.

Yesterday everyone went home. By the time they left my leg, hip and back were killing me. We walked a couple miles every day. By the end of the day, I was just looking for a chair or something to sit it, to relieve it. I’m planning to call my dr and ask her to get a few more weeks of physical therapy. Last night I had a very upset stomach. I was going to eat leftovers for dinner from our brunch in the morning but just couldn’t get it down. I slept ok, but not long enough, and as soon as I got up, the stomach started up again. I was supposed to go to a dr appointment this afternoon, which I canceled and rescheduled. I was supposed to go to Dan’s because I haven’t seen much of him for a couple weeks, except when he joined us for dinner.

I have to believe that it was the stress of having so much company in a short time, and perhaps too soon after all the issues I’ve had. And of course it followed being in CO for a month. I spent today in the recliner, trying to rest my leg and hip and not use it for a day, and watched TV. I had a massive headache since I had no coffee today. And I miss my family, and my friends, today felt lonely, too quiet, but I need a break, back to my real life.

Sunday is my writers group meeting, and one of the members has written a short play, a comedic version of MacBeth she calls The Wyrd Sisters. It will be performed, and we’ll have a great time.

A return to normalcy. Now if I can just convince my body. Love and light to everyone.

E-RAT-ICATED

I have been totally E-RAT-icated!!!! It cost me $4000, and is worth every penny! I still haven’t adjusted my thinking that there will be NO MORE RATS in my house!!!!

Now $4000 is a lot of money. But here’s what they did. First, they sucked up all the old insulation out of the attic, full of rat pee and feces, and the remains of nests. OH God, that so gives me the creeps! They were really living high on the hog inside my house. Next, these guys went through all my ductwork and repaired every hole in it with stainless steel wire mesh, sealed in by foam. There were LOTS of holes. Then they went to the hardware store and bought me a new length of dryer vent hose, and installed that because the rats had eaten holes in that, so the dryer was venting into my attic. YIKES!! Once they had all those repairs done, they found out that I had drywood termites up in the attic, so sprayed the wood down for those. Then they sanitized the whole attic so there is none of that horrible rat nest smell left up there. And then the last thing they did was blow in all new insulation throughout the attic. And, before they left they set up 4 bait stations around the house and will monitor them monthly.

So…the smell is gone, the accesses have all been closed up, and they can’t get back in unless they come with wire cutters to cut away the stainless steel wire mesh. I am so happy and so grateful to have found someone who could do something about this. Last week I went to a meeting of our writer’s group, and was talking about the rats, and what I was doing to e-rat-icate them. One of the 6 girls was shocked I had rats. The 3 more chimed in that they too had had rats, and that meant that 2/3 of us had dealt with them. It’s just a thing here in FL. They nest in the trees, jump on the roof, and find their way in.

Dan came and kept me company while they worked. We sat out on the deck and it was so nice out today. 80° and very low humidity. We took the strobe light out of the attic, and took all the rat bait stations, and traps out of wherever they were, and now I am just sitting here ever so delighted that my house smells good. Not like an old house, but like a clean one. I thought that it just smelled like an old house. But it didn’t. Well, it’s old but it smelled like nasty critter nests and whatever else.

I think the spraying for termites scared a bunch of palmetto bugs (you know, those gigunza cockroach things) out of the attic because Dan and I kept seeing them on the deck while we were out there, and it’s not something we usually see. Usually, we only find them in the morning, laying on their backs dead, or almost dead, and just sweep them out of the house.

Tomorrow I will begin really cleaning this house, vacuuming, mopping floors, dusting, etc. Since I came home from CO I’ve spent a lot of time deal with the rats, plus a lot of time on dr. appointments that needed to be done, like a dentist appointment for the tooth I broke in CO, and some other stuff. And I had to get my debit card re-instated. I’d forgotten to call the bank and tell them I was going to CO so they stopped approving charges on the card. Oh well.

I have a bunch of company coming in March. Friends from up north, and my sister from Austin. I haven’t seen her in 3 years, (due to Covid of course) and my other sis and I are so excited to have her here! Also, my friends Peter and Linda who used to put all the gong baths on that I went to up north. I’m really excited and feel kind of honored that they are spending time with me. All the friends are only staying a couple nights, and at AirBnB’s too. That makes it very nice for me. Of course, my sis is staying here, and then we will all go to my older sister’s new house for the rest of the week.

Now, my house will be ready for all the company. Can’t wait to see them all. Life is good!

Love and light to all.

And So It Goes

It snowed again yesterday, pretty much all day. And it was cold. So……I stayed in most of the day. My back was killing me, I don’t know why really. I mean it’s leftover from my spinal surgery 18 months ago, but I’m not sure what triggered it this time. But this morning it’s much better, thank goodness.

What’s not better today is that a lower molar broke on me last night as I was going to bed. Big chunk of it. But there is no pain associated with it, for which I’m grateful! There are dentists in Littleton (where son lives) in my network. I plan to call them this morning and see if I can get an appt for a temporary crown or something to get me by til I get home. Bruce is going to stop at a drugstore and get me a temporary filler in case I can use one.

Little Lucian is settling into his own rhythm of nursing, sleeping, pooping and being awake. He looks so much like his big sister its uncanny. But I see signs of my son, like his nose and perhaps cheekbones, but it’s way too early to say who he looks like. He’s just so tiny. My son was never that little, though I think a lot of babies are. I just adore him. He fits between my son’s hand and elbow, resulting in us calling him a football.

Bruce and I watched hockey last night, the Lightning vs the NJ Devils, and Dan watched it from St. Pete so we were texting during the game too. Lightning won, only by one goal. It was a really good game. Fun to watch it with my son. It’s been awhile. I bought dinner by Doordash for us all. I had planned to make some chicken fingers but after sitting out on the counter all day, the chicken still wasn’t thawed. So I bought dinner, and saved the chicken for tonight.

Today I’m going to try to get the house somewhat picked up, maybe do some baking. I slept really well, despite the tooth. Thank goodness.

I have found myself occasionally getting homesick for my life back home. But honestly, since I hadn’t seen son or his family in about 2 years, it’s really nice to have a long stay with them. I know what they have now, and understand their lifestyle better, and will be able to buy them things they need when the occasion arises. So it’s all good, and I know the next 3 ½ weeks will fly by, faster than I want them to.

I’m very proud of my son, to put together buying this house, getting a job that can support him and Dez while she’s on maternity leave, and for being such a good father, and partner. His family comes first and that’s such a pleasure to see.

And so it goes…all is well. Except the tooth, lol. But no matter. Love and light to all.

He’s Here!!!

He’s here. My grandson made his debut on January 21 at 6:21 in the morning. He weighed 6 lbs 6 oz, 19.5” long, and a ton of gorgeous dark hair. I am so in love with him. His name is Lucian It’s been an experience to be around a baby that is so tiny. My son, his father, was one ounce short of 11 lbs, he was never this small. So my experience was very different with a newborn. Lucian looks just like his older sister. I couldn’t be with him for the birth, nor could his big sister, due to Covid.

They went to the dr on Thursday morning. They had a team of midwives, not an OBGYN. Her blood pressure was elevated, so they ran a couple tests and diagnosed her with preeclampsia, though it was fairly mild. They came home as they waited for test results but when they got them, were told to come back to the hospital to be induced.

Happily, when they got there, they found she was already in labor, and skipped the pitocin, which is a nightmare to deal with. They gave her something to help her dilate when she got there since she was only at 2 cm, and an epidural at 3 am. Both she and my son got a slight nap then. A couple hours later they checked her again, and she was at 10. They brought the midwife in (hijacked from her spinning class, lol). After pushing for only 25 min Lucian was born.

This tiny adorable little person, He is perfect, this little angel. Love just flooded through me. So much joy and hope came with him. When I told Dan, he just kept saying how much of those 2 things, joy and hope, came with him. Dan is not an overly emotional person, and I was so happy to hear and see that his sentiments were really sincere.

I loved waking his sister, and not saying anything, just showing her the picture of him laying on his mother’s chest. Her eyes were as big as saucers, being awakened from a sound sleep to see her beautiful baby brother. I’ll always remember that moment.

Yesterday, both Bruce and Dez (the mom) needed naps, as they had probably slept about 6-8 hours total in a couple of days. Bruce put on the Bucs football game and sat on the couch talking to me til he fell asleep. I sat in the recliner I bought them, with Lucian in my lap, and he slept through the whole game. Both his parents got the nice naps they sorely needed, and I got some wonderful alone time with the baby. I love watching a baby sleep, especially this one. Easy to think back to my own son’s birth, and all the joy I had then, and have now.

It all went perfectly, at least as well as it could with the shadow of Covid hanging over us. I would have loved to be able to take Ellena to the hospital so we could have met him right when he was born. But Covid. Grrr.

Oh and by the way, I hope I never hear someone tell me they can’t breathe with a mask on. Dez had one on from the moment they walked in the hospital, until she left. She delivered and labored through the mask for 15 hours, only taking it off when she and Bruce were alone. I’m very proud of her.

I’ve been cleaning, vacuuming, cooking, etc. With them all having had the C-word right after Christmas, and Dez being almost 9 months pregnant during that time, they pretty obviously hadn’t been able to do much cleaning and organizing, so I’ve been trying to help out with all that.

I was so sorry to hear that Thich Nhat Hanh died. Then I realized that he died on the day Lucian was born, and all I kept seeing on FB was words from him about there being no death, that spirit just changes form, and I want to think that could be what happened. An amazing man in another form, and a beautiful baby boy. How blessed am I???

Love, light and blessings to all!!

First Week In Colorado

I’m in Colorado at my son’s house, where we are all anxiously awaiting the arrival of my grandson. I got here Tuesday. There is baby stuff all over. Pack and Play, bouncy seat, changing table, etc…It’s been 30 years since I’ve seen all this stuff.

They have a dog and a cat, Obsidian and Onyx respectively. They seem to get along, though Obsidian, the dog, wants to play a lot more than Onyx the cat does. They are so cute, both are a brindle black and brown. The pup is small, only about 20-25 lbs. She never barks unless someone comes to the door. She didn’t bark at me at all, but warmed right up to me. She knows my name, and knew it by the 2nd day. My son or Dez (the girlfriend) will say “Go see Gramma” and she runs right to me. I told Dan that, and he declared that she was really smart to know my name already.

If I wasn’t so old, lol, someone might think I was the one pregnant, because I have been “nesting”. Every day cleaning like a madwoman, because the baby will be here any minute, and the house got way behind them because they all had Covid after the holidays, and Dez in particular is pretty much tired all the time. Considering she is 38 weeks pregnant, and just had Covid, it’s understandable. But she’s made some good food and is taking good care of the baby.

It’s cold here. Not like New England’s weather this month, but it’s definitely colder than I’m used to. And it’s not that warm in FL, highs in the low 60’s for a couple of days now. But hey, can’t complain. My old friends in CT are really in the deep freeze with wind chills well below freezing. We had one morning that it started out at 9° but warmed up to the mid-40’s. Today it was 60° for an hour or so. But, but, but I don’t like this climate very much. It’s so dry my lips are chapped, my fingertips are cracked and I’m itchy. I’ll take some humidity, which the AC deals with when it’s bad, over having my skin dry and cracked.

I watched the Buccaneers game on Sunday and could see the palm trees waving behind the stadium in the end zone, and got a little homesick. But there’s so much happening here, I wouldn’t miss it for anything. I miss having a car though, because I’m basically stuck in the house all day, which makes me want to do more cleaning. Bruce promised to take me to Trader Joes and a couple other places tomorrow, so I’m looking forward to getting out of the house. It was also Dez’s last day at work today, so we’ll be able to run some errands. Still need a better handle on how to get my granddaughter to school, even though it’s only a couple of miles from here.

It’s really been nice to spend time with all of them, particularly my son, because I hadn’t seen him in 2 years due to Covid. I missed him and his great sense of humor. This will be the longest I’ve seen him for since he moved here and I moved to FL.

So life is awesome. Pretty soon I will have a wonderful new grandson to love (well, I already love him!) Ellena, my awesome granddaughter, is the sweetest 9 year old. She is very artsy, and today she and I colored pictures of mandalas from an adult coloring book. It was just she and I all day, since it was MLK day. I’m really enjoying getting to know her better.

I’m very lucky, and blessed. Love and light to all.

Working Through Some Stress

I have a headache. So far in the last few days I’ve had 2 killer headaches, pulled a muscle in my right SI joint, which was, is, my good leg, and for good measure, I had lower GI issues.

Lord.

Before you tell me I better get my butt to the doctor, I will tell you I was just there last week, to discuss with her if there’s an alternative to insulin for me, and to get myself off of a diabetes med which I just found out has a black box warning. And to get some additional physical therapy for my back, which is the lingering issue I have with the whole spinal thing that resulted in surgery 18 months ago. Of course, I didn’t have a headache when I saw my dr., or lower GI stuff, or a pulled muscle. But I digress.

I think all these physical issues are primarily caused by COVID. My son and his family are better, just some lingering stuff like a cough, and exhaustion. And even that wouldn’t be such a big deal except that my grandson is about to join us in a few weeks. So yeah, I’ve been preoccupied with worry. But it’s not just him, it’s flying to CO while we hatch over 1,000,000 new cases a day. I haven’t seen my son for 2 years because I didn’t want to walk through an airport, but now I HAVE to go. I am, somewhere under all this worry, so excited to be there. I wouldn’t miss his birth for anything, which is obvious because I’m going.

But that brings a bunch of other minor stuff to obsess over. Like, I don’t own a winter coat. And I can’t seem to buy one in FL unless I’m willing to pay full price, which I’m not because I will not wear it again after I get home. Unless my son can convince me to go to CO again in the winter. But he might, so I’m leaving the coat I end up with in CO. Then there’s the slight problem I have walking through airports because I can’t really walk very far. However, I’ve been told that I can get on one of those golf car thingys and hitch a ride to baggage claim. My son will meet me there and I’ll be fine.

I also don’t have much in the way of warm clothes. But I bought enough layerable sweaters from Goodwill and from Amazon to get by. Like boots, and a warm robe, and some warm pj’s. And warm slippers.

Now add to this, I am going to be gone more than a month, and that makes me uncomfortable. After 2 years of staying home or at Dan’s, breaking isolation for a very occasional meal out when the Covid numbers were down. Once all my friends were vaccinated and boosted, we kind of thought we were safe and resumed our book club and writers group meetings. Now that we are somewhere around 80,000 cases a day here, we canceled them all again and will have them on Zoom again. Which is kinda nice, I’ll be able to attend if anyone can host the meetings.

Plus one of the lenses in my new glasses is loose, so I need to go get that fixed. Minor, but a hassle.

Then there’s Dan’s 95-year-old mother, whose newest obsession is that when she gets hot or chilly she’s sure she has Covid. Like 5 times a day, she’s calling him telling him in her weakest most frail voice to come over because she has Covid. He walks 80’ to her condo and adjusts the thermostat and Covid amazingly disappears. Please understand that she NEVER goes anywhere, and she’s told all her friends they can’t come over. It’s minor for me, but it’s really hard on Dan. It’s a constant undercurrent of our life together.

So, tonight I am sitting with my headache and realizing that I have let my worries spiral out of control. I’m feeling the physical manifestations of stressing myself out over this amazing gift of a grandson I am about to be given. I need to spend some time in grateful meditation. I need to breathe, in through the nose, out through the mouth. I need to eat good, nourishing food. I need to take a walk or ride the bike at the gym and work up a sweat and get my head into a better place.

If you made it this far as I work through this stuff, I thank you so much. My head already feels better. And I’m breathing.

Love and light everyone.

Happy New Year?? I’m Trying…..

New Year’s Eve, 2021

Covid is rampant, far beyond what anyone expected. My son’s family all came down with it Tuesday morning, from a small Christmas gathering. They are improving daily, and I’m hoping soon they’ll be fine.

But Covid is only one terrible story on this New Year’s Eve. Fires destroying hundreds of homes in Colorado. Winds packing gusts sometimes up to 100 mph. My son took his dog for a walk yesterday and a small kitten, he said about 6-8 months old, followed him home, thankfully with a collar and contact info with the phone number of the owner of the car. He said it was sitting under a tree (small tree) and shaking, because the wind was so wild. He kept it in the house with his family. The owner told him the cat was an outdoor cat, and she’d be home that afternoon. I don’t understand why someone would have a kitten, and leave it outside all the time. Cats are not safe by themselves outside (I’ve had a bunch of them over my lifetime), let alone a small kitten.

Then, again, Putin and Biden are posturing for problems. Sick of that shit.

Now that we have enough vaccines for everyone who wants one, we don’t have enough tests. The company my son works for sent his store about 25 rapid tests to keep there, for anyone on staff who felt symptoms coming on. I’m very grateful that he works for a forward thinking company. He’s been afraid they won’t be able to open for a few days, there are so many people out with Covid. He drove in on Tuesday just to take the test which was overwhelmingly positive, and went home, along with another employee who was exhibiting symptoms. So he’s home til he tests negative, which he thinks will be Monday.

I am just trying to avoid everyone, so I don’t sabotage my trip out to CO. I am supposed to host my book club and go to a writer’s group meeting next week, but I am bowing out of both. Too afraid. When I am safely to CO, I won’t be so paranoid. Florida is once again the hottest spot in the country this morning, with over 77,000 cases yesterday. And Omicron is so contagious, I feel if there’s one person out of 5 or 6 that was exposed, almost everyone in that group will get it. They went to the girlfriend’s best friends parents home, where they go every Christmas. It was him, his girlfriend and their daughter, then the friend, her parents, her sister and brother-in-law. One of them had the virus, not yet symptomatic, and by Sunday night they began falling one by one. The OBGYN told my daughter-in-law not to worry, that the baby is pretty much fully developed by now (she’s 36 weeks). And she is vaccinated, so she feels pretty safe.

So, I am wary, even of my friends, all of whom are vaccinated and boosted. We have lost a number of people who were fully vaccinated. No one knows who might have bumped into someone who was infected. So….I’ll stay home until it’s time to go.

My friends don’t seem to be very worried. Some have encouraged me to attend, but I am just apologizing and saying sorry, I just can’t.

We have a nice quiet evening planned. Good food, watch some movies, talk, then watch the Lightning play the Rangers. I came to Dan’s last night so I could watch the Lightning, who are in first place in the NHL, get creamed by the Florida Panthers, who are in Third place. But I can’t blame the Bolts. They have 6 players out on Covid protocols, including both goalies. So we had 2 goalies who were playing in their first NHL game. It wasn’t pretty. They also have 3 players out with injuries.

So I guess my biggest worry is the damn virus. I mean, we are all so sick of it. I just want to get to CO in time to see my grandson born. But I think I will. And I am sure my son and family will be healthy again sometime next week.

So, what started out with me being so depressed by bad news has turned into a reminder that I have much to be grateful for. I do have worries, but I have more blessings. So, I go into 2022 hopeful. I mean, what’s more hopeful than a brand new life being born? I can’t wait to meet him.

Love and light to all. And Happy New Year to everyone. May 2022 be a year of less trauma and worry.