My lunch was nice.  We went to a deli run by a very upscale restaurant chain in the area.  Great NY style sandwiches, on bread that they make.  I don’t always get a sandwich when I go there, often I get their salads, maybe a feta cheese and spinach croissant.  It was Jim’s first time, I think he enjoyed it.

I explained to him about the freshness of the breakup.  How the relationship was done, but it was still fresh and I was being very cautious, and taking things slow.  He seemed ok with it, He said, “one day at a time.”  I feel better that he knows this about me.  He still wanted to make plans for Friday night.  🙂  He had a son who played hockey until about the same age as my son, so we exchanged some hockey stories, some stories of our youth. our lives. He had his new phone, I sent him his first text today, lol.  And I was the recipient of his first one, ever!!  LOL.

I had a spell where I missed S today, like crazy.  I managed to work through it.  I got back to the place where unconditional love for him is the only emotion I am comfortable with, it is who I am, it is what I believe.

We talked a bit tonight at book club about soul journeys, and contracts, and agreements.  There is a well known surgeon who has written books (or a book) about this. His name escapes me at the moment, I’ll have to find out from my friend who has been to one of his workshops.  But he says, he is sure that in a past life he murdered someone with a knife.  So in this life, he is saving people with a knife.  So, perhaps if we were abused in this life, we are learning the other side by asking to have a life in which we are abused, because we were an abuser in a past life, so that we can know the light and the dark, and grow and evolve.It’s an interesting concept to think about, and we only touched on it.  It leaves a lot of unanswered questions though.

Dr. Brian Weiss, head of Psychology at University of Miami, and author of Many Lives, Many Masters, (and many other books about past lives) found that often the same group of people agree to incarnate over and over again, to work out karmic differences, or to help each other achieve a goal, a lesson that one of them wants to learn.  I think this explains how there are some people with whom we have an instant and enduring connection, against the odds.

I was at a meditation group one night, when  new girl came in.  She sat her chair down next to me.  Instantly, really, within minutes we were in a deep conversation, about crystals, and meditation, and a whole host of other things.  We were on a high speed information exchange.  She and I have remained friends since then, she put me in touch with her reiki teacher when I wanted to become certified.  I used to see a lot of her, but we don’t connect much anymore, because the group has been disbanded, and really people’s lives just run in different directions, intersecting for awhile.  But we always both said we felt like we had known each other forever, immediately.

I’ll be honest here, I felt like I knew S, and loved him,  before I ever met him.  I guess I won’t find out in this lifetime, but it was similar to my friend above.  I don’t know if he ever felt that or not, but really that kind of connection is really on a level I have worked at for a long time, as did my girlfriend above.   And really S and I are so different, such different experiences, there was nothing really to bond us, except a love of the sea, which was strong in both of us.  I always loved that I didn’t have to try to explain it to him, I just knew he felt the same way about it. I’ll always appreciate all the places he took me to along the shoreline.  Though, I’d liked to have gone in the summer too, lol.   Night and day.   But we did….for awhile.  Daybreak and sunset.

Just kind of ruminating on it, because of the discussions we had at book club.