I’m in Florida. Had to get up at 3 AM yesterday to make a 6 AM flight.  I went to Detroit first and then Florida. Makes a lot of sense right?  So I’m writing this from my phone.  I don’t know how well it’s going to come out. 

The flight here was uneventful and I slept a lot of the way here.  But it was awesome at one point when  I opened my eyes and looked out the window and saw green below and not white. It was 86 here when I got here. 

My new guy, A, brought me to the airport. Very sweet of him to get up so early to bring me to the airport and he wanted to do it. He also wants to pick me up and my plane doesn’t get in until 10 after midnight. I am so not used to being treated like this.  I really like him, i really do. I don’t find myself with the passion that I wish I had for him though. I’m not sure if it’s because I’m not over S, or if it’s because I know he is moving and I’m just don’t want to hurt badly when he goes. Probably a combination of both. 

This place is so beautiful, such another world. Peacocks are roosting in the tree next to the house. Seabreezes come from both directions because the island is about a quarter-mile wide  here with the intracoastal on one  side and the Gulf of Mexico on the other. We go down to the town dock in the morning and watch the sunrise over the intercoastal. Someone was docking the sailboat while we were there. I found myself wishing I was on the sailboat. 



Last night we were having dinner at a little restaurant on the water a block from where my sister lives.  I was saying that I have never seen a dolphin in the wild. Two minutes later one showed up and did quite a little display for us. And then swam along the shore right in front of us so he was out of sight. 

Dolphins are connected with breath and emotional release. Perhaps that’s what I’m supposed to do here. To remember to breathe and sort out all my confused emotions. 

It was wonderful to see my mother. She is doing so well. 93 yrs old and even tho we can’t understand most of what she says because of her stroke, the essential mom is still here.  I am training in  how to take care of her so that Saturday night I can take care of her and my sister and brother-in-law a well-deserved night out. 

When I got here mom was sleeping. When she woke up I gave her a big hug and she was so surprised because she can’t remember much so she had forgot I was coming.  I asked her “didn’t you know I was coming today?”  She answered me in a big loud voice “Noooooo”. She was so happy.  I feel so blessed this morning to still have her. We are going to take her over to the beach today and wheel her along on the sidewalks. She was very excited about that idea!!  

I told S I would call him from down here if I get some free time.  He has been wanting to talk to me and says he needs it for closure.  I have missed him but I also know it’s not good for me.  I’ve been emailing and texting him.  I wish we could just be friends but I don’t think it’s possible.  There’s too much sexual energy between us.  When I’m by the water here I really miss him, because I know when he looks at the water he feels like I do.  I still feel like i knew him in a past life. I think our souls are very connected somehow.  

I’m feeling dishonest with A because I’m talking to S. Going to need to sort this out while I’m down here. I hope I can. 

In the meantime I’m going to remember the dolphin the message that it brought.