Back from Florida. Did a lot of introspection there.  It’s easy when you’re alone in a beautiful beach in the sunshine, to figure out what you want. Cried some tears. Had some smiles. Found a whole sand dollar. 

Opened the communication with S. Feeling good about it. We are going to talk.  All I know is, whenever anything happened, I wanted to tell him. Guy “A” is like a brother. S is like a lover. I missed him. He misses me. He has done a lot of introspection too.  We will see if we can’t meet somewhere in between. 

One of my friends told me after 35 or 40 years of marriage she still feels it in her gut when she sees her husband. That’s how I feel about S. Happy excited butterflies. We will figure it out I think. I hope.