I need to clarify something. S apparently read my last blog about finding solid ground.  He decided that since I was rethinking saying goodbye to A that meant I wanted to be with him. Despite the fact that I clearly said it did not mean that. So here’s the clarification. 

There would be no A if S hadn’t fucked the prison whore.  (See older blogs from January-February.)  A coincidentally showed up in my life right after I found out about the prison whore, when I was broken and bruised and devastated.  

But it’s simple, in case you’re reading this, S. If the prison whore had not come into my life neither would A, the “coffee guy”.  I have made it repeatedly clear in this blog and to S personally that I couldn’t find any passion for A because he wasn’t S.  I don’t want A any more than S wants the prison whore. 

Tonight S suggested that we split up because we can’t seem to get together. He read the blog after saying that to me. And called me a nasty name and blocked me. Thus I am publishing this here because I have no other access to S and maybe he will read this. Apparently  the fact that he doesn’t want me doesn’t stop him from not wanting anyone else to have me.

But the point is moot.  I don’t want A. All I ever wanted was S.   The love remains.  But the absolute ridiculousness of the accusation will remain also until S removes it.