I am so worried about him, so scared for him. I just need to know he’s alive. I just left him a voice mail, a text, and an email to his personal and work. I’m barely functional. Panic stricken. WTF did I do, what was I thinking??? As if I could just stop caring… God I’m stupid sometimes. Geezus.
Edited: I just called the hospitals and he’s not in them. So I’m ok for now. I don’t need to talk to him, just need to know that he’s relatively speaking, ok.
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
He will probably just hurt you again… and worse this time. Be prepared for that.
I know. I just want to know he’s alive. That’s all. Or in the hospital. Or whatever. Then I can leave it be.
you know he will hurt you again…. the only way to stop him is to let him go, but I know that isn’t something you can do… I understand, my friend, I understand…
I am in the process. He won’t contact me, I’ve tried every way. But since I know he’s not in the hospital, I’m ok. It seems just cruel to me not to keep me in the loop, but I’m not so dealing with it as best I can.
I know, why can’t hejust send a quick message, like two works saying I’m ok… guess that is too much to ask, jerk!
I know. I told him even if it’s “fuck you”. At least I’d know he’s breathing. Same as not showing up. All it would have taken was a short text so I didn’t sit there waiting. It’s all bout him, and it is, but that shouldn’t be license to be so inconsiderate. He’s not incapacitated. Or wasn’t any way.
Jerk, there really is no excuse to treat you like that… mine is distant at times but not mean…
What I really hate is that no one knows me, or even about me, that he knows. So if anything should happen no one will ever tell me. He’ll just disappear from my life. It’s part of the reason I was breaking it off before all this came up. It’s just so hard to know that,
I have thought the same thing as well. My kids know who he is and so do my friends but that wouldn’t do me any good if something happened to him, no one would know to tell me…. It is really hurtful that they don’t care enough about us to tell anyone we are in their lives… I don’t understand…