I guess it was bound to go there. 

I hoped so much it wouldn’t.

But, it did. 

In the early morning hours

Anger, misunderstanding, refusal, pain. 

Why can’t I get over it? 

Because it never ends. 

Because I don’t want to balance out every bit of happiness 

With misery. 

Too much misery in my life. 

Done with it. 

Done with those who bring it to me. 

Maybe I bring it to them, I don’t know. 

But there are people with whom I only share happiness. 

That’s where I need to go, 

It’s what I want to find. 

Stand my ground the guides said. 

Doors will open for you if you do. 

I’m ready. 

For the open doors, 

Ready to walk joyfully through them

And leave the misery, 

Hidden in its lair

Waiting to jump up 

And bruise my heart again. 

Let it suffocate 

In its own breathless anger and pain. 

I can almost see the joy, 

Almost touch it, 

Almost feel it, 

Smell it, 

Taste it. 

Going, going….

Gone.