Yesterday, Saturday, seemed to be full of opposing energies.  They called at about 8 to schedule coming to measure my room from 10 to 12, which was fine.  then they called back at 10 to tell me the technician who was supposed to do it had had his computer/tablet crash, and he needed that to do the measuring, so wouldn’t be able to come.  I am so old school, I’m thinkin what’s wrong with a tape measure?  But of course, that just shows my age.  It was rescheduled for next Saturday.

Since they weren’t coming I decided to go check out the carpeting at another store, and then go to Walmart because I needed some folding chairs i could take to the beach, and the fireworks if I went.

But while all this was going on, S called me.  He started to say goodbye to me in a very nice friendly way.  We ended up with a discussion about our souls and their journeys and why we have the lives we do.  Geez it got deep.  Then we got into a discussion about apologies.  Then it got hard, again, we were butting heads, and we hung up, nothing resolved, no goodbyes, no hellos.  He called me again while I was driving, about the apology….and again we butted heads. I found out in due course that he’d had an extenuating circumstance that caused his silence.  I said, all you had to do was tell me in the briefest of communication, and let me know you’d get back to me.  I would have left you alone, instead of calling  hospitals looking for you. I told him it only added to my angst, and anger, and hurt to find out now, after two weeks.  As if it was a tool to be sprung on me to make me feel like a jerk, instead of including me in his life when it happened.  It just seemed to me we would never find common ground.  I wasn’t mad, i just got tired of the same old conversation, going around, accomplishing nothing. Feeling and being on the outside edge of his life, instead of in it.  I didn’t want to talk about it anymore, we were headed in our separate directions.

And then he called back.  For whatever reason, he gave me the apology I was looking for for weeks, months on some things.  I was so shocked I just said, Thank you for that…..and I I had to hang up.  I wanted to cry. And it wasn’t just the silence he was apologizing for, it was other actions that have caused me pain, that have driven us apart.

I know it was not easy for him, and I understand the kind of character it took to do it.  I also believe that he is more invested in this relationship than he or I thought, because he made such an effort.  I let  him know that I was very appreciative of that effort.

A little while later, he texted me, and we made plans for him to come here this evening to talk.  I don’t know i we can find common ground on all the other things that separate us, but I’m willing to explore the possibilities with him. I’m also scared to death.

I ended up going to the fireworks with a friend.  They have them every year in the town where my boat slip is, as the end of an annual Sailfest.  They used to be much more impressive, with three barges of fireworks in the middle of the river, now just one.  But we always go sit on a fishing pier that goes maybe 800′ into the river, in front of an old fort, and watch them. It was a perfect, cloudless night, at then end of a very hot day. It was fun. That’s where the pictures are from.