Sunrise.  The day promises to be hot again.  This will hopefully be the last summer I will have to leave my morning reflections to get ready for work.  I am ready to move on with my life, to the chapter in which I spend my time at my passios, writing, making jewelry, at the beach, and discovering new and wonderful things that will occupy my time.  Staying in the moment at work is becoming more and more difficult, even though I like my job.  Would prefer to be in the company of friends, or a good male friend, maybe just sitting together having coffee, reading a book, bantering about what we want to do with our free time that day.

Will it be S that I sit with?  I can’t know. We haven’t been able to talk about it really.  Maybe someone else?  Maybe just by myself?  Ii feel like I’m in limbo, making plans to change my life but still stuck in the old one.  Loving someone, not knowing how he feels about me.

I wish I could just go to the beach, maybe the rather secluded beach that we used to take my son to, by boat when he was small.  Just sit and gather myself.  I have not lost gratitude, I am so grateful to be in  a place where I have choices for the next part of my life.  But I’m past ready to move on them.  It’s a slow, time-consuming process.

I’m ready for some definition in my life I guess.  Too many variables.  Some things, you just want to know that they “are”.  But then again, it all is just what it is, right now.  There’s nothing else.  Acceptance, and moving forward is the only action I can take.