I don’t know why I did it, but I must have wanted to know the answer.  He texted me this morning.  I agreed to talk, tho I probably shouldn’t have.  I should have known I’d get no answers from him.

He didn’t see her.  They’ve talked for all these days.  Hasn’t seen her, he swears.

I am so angry…..I’m trying to be objective, but I’m so angry.

When a man says to you, “My ex girlfriend, Betty, is back in my life”, what would ANYONE think?  That she’s back in his life.  When he does NOTHING to disabuse you of the notion that they are together, and on top of that leaves you two voice mails, because you block him because you are in so much pain you can’t talk to him, saying “I’m sorry.  I didn’t mean to hurt you.  I thought I was doing the right thing telling you.  I wish you’d take it better.  I would like you to be happy for me.  It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Does that leave much room for doubt that he’s back with her?????

Talk about selfish, talk about unable to care the least bit about the results of what he says and does.  Selfish, self-absorbed, and obviously doesn’t care a shit about me.  Not one little iota.  Not for even a nano-second.

He could have told me the truth in the beginning, that she called and they talked.  But no, “she’s back in my life.”

What the fuck does that mean to anyone?

He tells me I’m paranoid.  Well, FUCK YEAH.  Because he’s done nothing, NOTHING, to reassure me of my place in his life.  In fact, he’s been telling me for 6 months, he doesn’t want a relationship, or to be in love, and he has always said that he never got over Betty Boop,

So I shouldn’t be PARANOID when he tells me she’s back in his life, and he wishes I’d be happy for him, and it’s all he’s ever wanted.?  Oh yeah, that’s just what would reassure every woman I know.

ASSHOLE.  He leaves me crying, upset, unable to eat, or sleep for 3 days while he talks to her.  Not a word to me since one short text Sunday morning.  And he’s been talking to her all weekend.  I shouldn’t be paranoid though.  I shouldn’t believe he was with her.

And now when I ask, well are you with her or not, he says I don’t know what that means.  I say, are you going to see her every weekend, is she going to stop at your house and spend the night on her way home from work.  Are you gonna stay at her house during the week, since she lives in the town where you work?

He says, I don’t know, I hadn’t even thought about those things.

BULLSHIT.  And if he hadn’t, which I find HARD to believe, considering he wanted me to be happy for him, and it was all he ever wanted, he KNEW I thought so.  HE FUCKING KNEW IT, AND LET ME BELIEVE IT. 

I’m so sick of his passive aggressive drama.  So fucking sick of it.  He can’t communicate the truth to me, he can go fuck himself.  I’m done crying and raging.

He is who he is, and I need to continue with the letting go process.  I want nothing to do with a man who can’t conceive of how I feel, while he’s talking to his ex and leaving me hung out to dry.  I cannot stand people that can’t be accountable for their actions.  If you cause pain, you get to deal with it.

And please understand, he KNEW how I was feeling.  He read my blogs, he told me he did.  I have written 15, count them 15, blogs in the last 3 days.  If he couldn’t feel what I was feeling, if he had an inability to empathize with me, it was there in black and white, bare and raw for anyone to read, and know.

So fuck this.  I should have blocked him like every single one of my friends told me to over the last 3 days.  Never talked to him again.  Let him and Betty Boop have a great time fucking with each other’s heads.  I couldn’t give a shit.

Hard to believe what an asshole he turned out to be.

The blessing is, that 5 minutes after he hung up because he couldn’t deal with my rage, my son came home, and didn’t have to witness any of it.  He will never know what this guy did to me, and will never know how stupid his mother is.  Sooooo glad about that.