I guess the thing with fear of change is this.  When you are traumatized to the point that you don’t trust yourself, your thoughts, your emotions, you can’t trust your own decisions. 

And moving along with change and transformation requires you to first of all trust yourself, and trust that the universe is working in your behalf. 

And honestly, neither of those things is true right now.  

Liz Gilbert said “Ruin is the road to transformation.”  Right now, I just feel ruined. Destroyed. Beaten. 

So there lies more work. To figure out how to trust myself again.