Or, maybe a dozen times 
 Sitting in my car, listening to music, I keep thinking the one question I wanted S to answer, and he refused, was “WHY?”  

Why did he either A) let me suffer in emotional pain all week-end, B) Why did he lead me to believe he was back with Betty Boop, C) or fabricate the whole story?  

But I have no desire to contact him, or otherwise engage him. So I’m just thinking about what drives him. 

The answer is anger, and sex.  And I believe  he was so angry that I was blogging about how our relationship was over that he wanted to make me pay. Whether he did by inventing the whole story, or by just allowing me to writhe in pain believing I deserved it for my blogs, doesn’t matter.

What matters is that I see it, and see him as he is, and never revisit loving him again the way that I did.   That’s all. Just find the courage to walk away and love myself more.