This morning I woke happy. The gongs worked their magic. I have done more deep healing with the gongs than any other method.  Vibrational healing is incredible. 

Today, I can say I will always and forever love the child who steers the riverboat. And I will stand by if gets too deep, if he reaches out needing someone to throw him a line to get back to shore.  He will usually say he likes the deep.  There may come a day when he wants to plant his feet on solid ground though. The things he has done that are so wrong, are just that child trying not to get hurt again. They are forgivable. And are forgiven. I can only say I am blessed not to have had the need to protect myself in that way. 

Not saying that my heart will not be open to finding the real thing, aconnection that is rich, and full, physically, emotionally, spiritually. I hope beyond hope to have that before I leave this world. 

But should he reach out I will extend my hand and the part of my heart that is his. 

I guess if I see S a result of my call and voicemail to him, that is what I will want to make sure he knows. If he doesn’t respond, I think he’ll know it anyway. 

I used to say I wanted to be the one person in his life that loved him unconditionally. And while this ordeal has sorely tested that, at the end of the day, I still feel it. I still and always will love him without limit. 

For my ex as well, I would be there,  although the likelihood of him ever acknowledging that he’s in too deep is slim to none. S has a higher consciousness than my ex, in many ways. 

It feels good not to feel so much grief this morning.  I hope this lesson has been learned well, and won’t need repeating. 

Today, first time all week, I really feel like I’m rising strong.