Taking a break from cleaning my house. Doing the first thorough cleaning since the break-up 7 weeks ago I just couldn’t seem to feel it. I did basics, but today, I cleaned all the bathrooms, really the upstairs. My son’s bathroom was a challenge, lol, but I got through it.
I feel like I’m cleaning out my head while I’m doing it. I realized the coaster for a glass was still on S’s side of my bed. Put that one away! Put the prism light he gave me for my night stand away, where I won’t see it. When I rediscover it, I can decide if I keep it or pitch it.
Reclaiming my life. Vacuuming the cobwebs out of the corners, scrubbing the floors, getting all that old crud washed away.
My BFF called me this morning. I had not told her of the drama. She said, “I said a long time ago, How do you know anything he’s told you is the truth?” I said, laughing, “I KNOW!!! OMG, your voice has been in my head all week!”
Because she never even met him, but knew he was lying. She was quite proud of me though, that I stood in my truth, and did the right thing. We had a few good laughs. But she also knows the seriousness of it. She has been the shoulder I was crying on for over a month. She’s just glad I finally have the truth in front of me, that it didn’t re-break me, and that I dealt with it like an adult, and let it go.
She has not understood why I stayed with him anyway. He made me cry so much, he did the prison whore, and I still took him back.
There was a time, this fall, when I asked her to go somewhere with me, she said, “ok, but we’re not talking about Scott.” LOL. There was always some drama cooking with him.
And no wonder, lol. He was trying to hold the thing together. I was demanding more of his time, and was cutting him off because he wouldn’t give it. It actually was making him really angry at me, that when he wanted to come for a “nice afternoon”, or after work, more and more often I said, “No. If you don’t want to come when we can spend some real time together then don’t come. Let me go.” But he wouldn’t do that either.
Well, he has now, lol.
Clean house, clean head. No more BS.
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
Good job…. love you. I have decided I need and attitude adjustment, been thinking about it all last night and today. I went to the store and on the way home a Christmas song came on the radio, I had to pull my truck over and take in the beautiful naked trees and blue sky across a field as I listened to “What Child Is This” it was so moving, I was overwhelmed by the song, scene and what it was telling me to do… It is time …
Oh good for you M. Good for you. I’m happy to hear this. We can’t let the betrayal ruin the rest of our lives. We deserve more than to be defined by what some asshole did to us. Because at the end of the day, they did it to themselves. Onward, girl. Onward!
Hi, just missed your call. My daughter just pull in so can’t call you now, but i will this evening, yup, we need to catch up… hugs