Just spent an hour on the phone with an old friend from my abuse support community whose son is following in his fathers footsteps to narcissism.
I’m so glad that I found that community all those years ago, because the bonds we made with others in similar situations have given us all somewhere to go where people understand it, I mean, really get it.
I think I helped her. We had not talked in a few years, but she knew she could come to me. I told her about my recent narc experience. I still hold out hope for her 18 yr old son. I hold it for Scott, but I’m also real. He’s most likely not going to change at this late date, though he could. If he wanted.
It’s fear. What is not love is fear. Simple as that.
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
So simple and yet so profound. ❤
Yep. It is. And it’s easy to remember too. lol.
Wow. What is not love is fear. When I questioned how my oldest daughter could send me off (while screaming at the top of her lungs) and then say the phrase I hate (I love you), it was explained to me that it was fear. The way she treated me sure didn’t make me feel all “warm and fuzzy.” So, if somebody doesn’t love you….the attack you because they’re afraid of you?”
No. They are afraid. Of something. I think that it is usually something they don’t understand about themselves. A living parent is the target because they know they can go after you and you’ll still live them. Marianne williamsons book The Return To Love is a wonderful easy read to understand the concept. The opposit of live is not hate, it’s fear. Hate and all other negative rations come from fear. Many many people don’t live themselves do how can they believe they’re worth? Also Brene Brown’s book The Gifts If Impetfection.