Sunday night I posted the blog about my amazing, happy day.  It was so great to actually spend a whole day being happy.  I posted it, and went to bed basically.

I woke up an hour later with a start, somewhat alarmed.  My waking thought was, “He’s going to be SOOO mad that I’m happy.  I’ll probably hear from him.”  I know he blames me for his misery, even if he were to own the lies and deceit, he still believes it’s my fault for having to make sure she knew the full extent of what he was doing to her.

He’s miserable, and it’s my fault.  So, as with my ex, if he’s unhappy, I better not be happy.  And that thought woke me, and put me on a little edge.  Thinking I’d get a message from him saying, “Nice that you can be so happy after you ruin my life.”   Or something along those lines.

Then I thought about it.  I have not heard from him since Thursday, November 19, when he called me at work, wanting me to lie to her about our relationship, and he found out I had sent her a letter.  So, I thought, no, he’s not going to initiate a conversation now, 5 weeks later.  He’ll be mad, but he won’t contact me.

Understand, I believe he still reads my blogs.  If for no other reason, for the attention, but I think it has to do with him wondering if Betty and I ever talk, or will talk.  Just to be aware of where I am, what I’m thinking.

So…..I went back to sleep and was fine.  My good mood lasted through yesterday.  Then that dream, where he came to me, it was so real, and made me cry again.  I can’t describe how real this dream, in the beginning and the one I had a month and a half ago, were.  I can still remember hearing that slider door last night, and him coming in the room.

But the point is, I was sure I was going to hear from him about that “happy” blog.  And last night I heard from him, in a way I didn’t expect to, but is consistent with the energetic connection we have.  He showed up in my dream, he visited me in a way in which his presence, energetically, was palpable.

I met a woman about a week ago, who is an onconolgy nurse, but also does reiki, and intuitive healing and energy balancing.  We were talking about this relationship, and some of the issues she has, just sharing and getting feedback, and she said, “You know, this could have been going on for centuries with this guy.”  I have always felt that way, that I knew  him in another life, I have always seen things about him that were just clear as day to me, like his being the child who steered his riverboat into the deep,and it sunk.  We could have a contentious relationship that spans lifetimes.

Well his showing up in my dream really made me angry all day.  But finally tonight, I realized that he doesn’t do it intentionally, I don’t think.  I will make a concerted effort to inform the powers that be, that he’s not welcome in my dreams, or anywhere else around me…..

GET OFF OF MY CLOUD!!!  Lol.