Difficult Emotions

Regrets, shame, guilt….Some very difficult emotions to manage.

I try, honestly, to live in a way I don’t have too many regrets.  It’s been a lesson I learned the hard way, so I try to always look at the big picture when I do something.  Sometimes, I don’t, or can’t.  Sometimes I get carried away and do things that I can’t be sure how they will turn out.  Don’t we all?

I tend to listen to my gut, my intuition.   Things have happened recently where I did that.  I couldn’t see the all the ramifications, there was no way to know what they would be, at least for me.  I followed my heart, my intuition.  I don’t regret it, for myself.  I warned others about doing things they would regret.  They made their choices.

Now I find out that these actions, which were far from mine alone, hurt other people, and have caused some of the other emotions in others.

I am sorry for that.  I don’t regret doing what I did, because the actions were something I needed. They helped me with my healing, they helped me to ease the pain of rejection and loss from the events of last fall.  That others were hurt, or feel guilty was inevitable, in that situation I guess.  I take no joy in that fact.

But at any rate, I am sorry for the discomfort of others.  The situation, from the beginning almost a year ago, was bound to hurt people, and keep hurting people.  I have retreated.  I have taken myself out, and leave the others to heal as best they can.  I tried to help, but I had my own healing too to deal with.  I know I did what I could to help.  And I did what I needed to to heal.  The fact is, those two things were never going to be the same thing.

I still believe in unconditional love.  I hope those hurt, and those immersed in guilt, can understand that it was hard for me too. I was always the odd woman out.  I’ll be fine, eventually.  I only wish the best for everyone, and ask the universe to work things out for the highest good of all of us.


12 responses to “Difficult Emotions

  1. we all learn as we go… best to walk away, this situation couldn’t have turned out any different from the beginning (neither could mine), when there is deceit, there is always loss and pain… so sorry my dear friend… much love and hugs to you… M.

  2. The bigger the darkness, the greater opportunity for change and light. Everything happens for a reason, pain is usually a warning something is wrong…the precursor of evolution. Never look back, keep sight of where you want to get too.(nice cathartic post)

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