Today was a long day. I was overtired when I went to bed last night, and even though I took an Ambien, it took me awhile to get to sleep. Then I slept an hour late, til 6:30. Luckily I don’t have to be at work until 10:30 on Monday. I still got in to work at 9:30. I’m so sore, my neck and my shoulders.
I meant to stop at Home Depot on the way, I drive right by it on the way to work, to get some ceiling tiles for the suspended ceiling in the basement. I drove right by, without a thought, until I was past the point of no return. I shipped one order at work, to the wrong address. Luckily, you can intercept it online and change the ship to address.
Screwed up, I was so tired. My boss, thankfully, didn’t even get upset as long as I could correct it.
I’ve been messaging with a guy on a dating site. His profile, idk, it seemed like it was all about sex, likes busty women, sex is in there a couple of times. He messaged me, and said, I think we could have some fun. I said, “Idk…I’m not busty, and while I like sex, I don’t engage in it for it’s own sake. If there’s not a connection then it won’t happen.” I didn’t hear from him for a couple days, and thought nothing of it. But he got back to me, and we messaged some more. I think what he has is a healthy sexual appetite, not an obsession. Which is ok with me. In fact, I have one too. As long as we make some kind of emotional, mental connection. He’s tall, lol, so has that going for him. He’s supposed to call tomorrow night. I think he will, because he wasn’t scared off by my reticence, my questions, my insatiable need to know and understand.
I have not been active at all on this site, and have had no interaction for ages, no interest. I was just gonna leave it and once I’m settled in Florida, see how I felt about it. But I didn’t disable my profile. In the last week, I’ve had 4 or 5 hits, two of them in their 40’s, swearing they like older women. Um, no….can’t do that. But this man is my age. His picture shows him as relatively good looking. But most importantly he has not bored me, which is my main criteria, I cannot be bored by a man, and he has declared he would love to pamper me. I have to say, after the nightmare I’ve been living with for so long, that is utterly tempting. To go out with someone who could and wanted to pamper me, and not break my heart.
We’ll see. Trusting my intuition, it seems that there could be something. But my heart is pretty closed, he will have some work to do to fill my marble jar enough to get me into his bed. But I said that to him, I’m probably too much work, and he responded that he wouldn’t consider it work. Fair enough, I’ll give it a try. I miss having a man in my life, but I’m scared shitless about it too.
I have to wonder if the interest is in proportion to the amount I am letting go of Scott. Like, letting go made room for new people to come in. Now that the furor (my furor, his denial, yet again) over the erotica has died down, I know I still love him, will always love him, but it will always be directed to the man I knew. I don’t know the guy he is now. I don’t like this man. So, I miss the old guy, but I will just miss him until I don’t. He fades away every minute.
They came and did all the landscaping work today, cut down the trees and trimmed others, and cut back the shrubs. It looks SOOO nice. I wish I’d done it when I moved in. I hope it adds value to the house. I’m trying to get a quote on insurance for the FL house now. My insurance co here doesn’t insure in that area. Minor details….
So much going on, good things all. I’m tired as hell tonight, but still so grateful. So blessed.
Love and light, all….
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
How exciting that you are chatting with someone new! 🙂
I don’t like it either when they have something on their profile about sex. Not that I don’t like sex haha. I just don’t want it to be “obvious” like that. I want it to be sort of a mystery… 😉 And I am always hesitant about anyone who talks about sex early on/has it on their profile. It makes me think that it could be that that is all they’re about, sort of. There are exceptions of course. This guy could be one. Keep talking to him a bit, find out more. Report back. 😀
Yeah, we’ll see. He doesn’t really talk about it, but saying he likes “busty women” lol, and that sex is one of the six things he could not live without. So Idk, I’ll find out when I talk to him. Anyway, i’ll talk to him, and just take it one step at a time. I find at this age if they don’t talk about it, they probably are not functional, and even oftentimes if they do, they are not functional in that area, lol. I want a functional on, I have to find my way through the bullshit and see what’s real with these men. I will report back though, lol. you know that!
Yes, looking forward to the reports, friend! xo
Keep us posted! LOL
You know I will!
I understand wanting a man in your life but being scared shitless!
Good for you for getting out there… I hope you have a great time.
Thank you….I’m glad people understand. I just don’t want to get so burned again, but I also know that if we can’t be vulnerable, we miss out on all the good stuff.
Just like most woman on here, I barely survived my situation mentally. I was with someone for 3.5 years who showed me fake divorce papers and I then found out that he was living with his wife. I had no idea. He was very good. I saw him almost daily and spoke all day long. He got very close to my kids . He was a friend of mine who confessed he had feelings for me at the most difficult time in my life. My husband had just passed away after a 4.5 year battle with pancreatic cancer. I fell hard for him when I was so vulnerable and then found out from someone that didn’t know we were together that he and his wife were fine and living together. I missed a month of work and had additional medical problems. My kids then left for college and I was alone for the first time in my life. He planned a future with me and promised me I would never be alone.
I started dating after a year and then fell apart when my first relationship ended after only 3 months. I had major trust issues which resulted in being needy and doomed that relationship. I’m not sure I can handle any more heartbreak . I also don’t want to be alone for the rest of my life, but so scared to trust.
I give you a lot of credit. I enjoy reading your blog, your strength has helped me. Thank you.
Wow. What a horrible experience. It’s unbelievable how painful irbid when you find out you’ve been lied to like that. I’m so so sorry that happened to you. It seems to be a pretty big club, sadly.
Try to find the lessons, there’s always one and I think that helps us to go on, being smarter and wiser. Glad to have you. I’ve pretty much given up the other blog, really no need. I refuse to be censored any longer.
We’ll recover together. 😊
thank you , my friend 🙂