Words have escaped me this morning.  Imagine that?  I am oddly content, but at the same time, slightly sad that I am seeing things the way they are, not the way I wanted them to be. At the same time, I am glad about that, because it doesn’t hurt me, it validates what I know I have to do, the choices I have made, instinctively.

My intuition is strong today, for the last few weeks, I have known things I couldn’t know, but did.   I’m learning to trust that voice that whispers in my ear, the one that tells me that things are not always what they seem.  And then, points me to the truth, so I can go on.  Forward.  Onward.

I sometimes think I know the reasons, and sometimes I think, there isn’t one.  But somewhere inside I know it all had to happen, that there was something I needed to experience, and learn, and I hope I have.  I think I have.  I think the reasons, whatever they are, are probably not comprehensible at the human level.  I think I somehow have to quiet my insatiable need to know.  S used to say there will be an answer, the Beatles were right.  I wanted always to know what it was.  (I guess in the case of him, that was a good instinct…)

But the larger question, the larger answer, we spend a lifetime trying to find.  I wonder if when we transition from this life, if there’s a blinding moment when it all makes sense, when we finally know the answers.  But I expect not.  I expect that is what the evolution of our souls is about.  A quest, to find answers, to understand, to have some greater comprehension of our place in the world.  Our journey here in this lifetime is only one small part of an eternal, infinite evolution.

I guess the words are coming back to me.  I feel like I’m making a major shift in my life, that my focus will change, is changing.  Sharing what light I’ve found, and seeking more, and being in a position to focus my energy on that quest.  Through friendship, creativity, living in a place full of light and warmth, that will support that quest.

Yes, onward.  I am forever grateful to Elizabeth Gilbert for that word.  Onward.  Let us all become more fully the expression of best selves.

Love and light.