I had such a wild birthday. Wild in that I closed on my Florida house. Wild in that we had such a hard time getting the proper inspection reports that the company that did them is going to refund our $610 fee! Completely! Wow!!! A little added bonus to my birthday!

My son worked tonight, so I stopped for Chinese take-out on the way home, and when I finished eating I had to do the final prep for pictures tomorrow. It’s now 9:30, and I’m beat! Happy, but really tired. Gonna maybe take some time off this weekend, head to the shore if it’s nice enough.

I need some ocean water, some sea breeze. So many big changes. Emotionally, physically. A transition soon from working every day, though I will probably still work when I move, but not at a job like this. Spending more time doing what I love, what I have a passion for. Finding new things that I have a passion for. Maybe a new man that I have a passion for, who knows?

Still, it’s scary to leave the place where I have lived for almost 40 years. And my friends, my best bunch of friends you could ever ask for. A town where I rarely can go to the grocery store without spending a half hour in one of the aisles catching up with someone I haven’t seen in awhile. I will miss it. I will be back though. Just as they’ll be coming to Florida to escape the winter, I’ll be coming here in the summer, not to escape anything but to see people I love.

I found out tonight that my son wishes more than anything that nothing was going to change. That we could stay here in this house, and life could just go on the way it has. He gets why it is changing, because I can’t pay this mortgage and keep this house unless I work. And I’m sick of working.

It’s because we’ve been so happy here. He had such a hard childhood, with his alcoholic abusive father. When he came to live with me, I just wanted to give him a stable loving home, so that was my focus for the 8 years since he came to me. To try to undo some of the damage of living in that ugly, dark, dysfunctional family.

I think I’ve been successful. But he has always had a hard time with change, and this one is no different. It’s probably harder, because everything that happened here was within the boundaries of a normal family life. We have had our trying times…but he and I were happy. We could close the doors on the world here and be happy. I’m sure he is afraid it won’t happen again. I’m sure he doesn’t want to be so far away from me, nor I him. Our bond is strong. I told him, even when we are all those miles apart, we will still talk every day, 2 or 3 times a day. We will still be part of each other’s lives.

I told him, life doesn’t always give you what you want. I told him, I would have loved to stay married, fix up our house, retire on our boat cruising the Caribbean. Have a successful business. But that’s not what happened. So, I accepted that it was not gonna happen, and came up with a plan that would work for me, and accomplish what I really wanted. To spend some part of my life on my passions, instead of working for someone else. In a warm climate where I didn’t freeze for 3 months a year. Now, I told him, you have to do that. Make a plan. Make it work.

I have no doubt he will. Fear…is so hard to overcome. But he will.

Life certainly has it’s curves, but if you look in the right places, there is usually something beautiful around every corner.

Love and light.