If you get the daily “Notes from the Universe” (www.tut.com) and saw today’s notes, then you know today’s note was about people doing the best they can.
I’ve written about this before, how I suppose that people are, in general doing the best they can, based on their level of consciousness at the time. But for me, this thought is tempered by the belief that most people want to seek the light, most people don’t want to do the wrong thing, and endeavor not to. I want to think that everyone makes mistakes.
So if we take that as the baseline, that people are doing the best they can, what does that say about someone who lies, deceives, betrays, manipulates, and uses people? Is that really the best they can do?Do I really have to believe that? And when it’s pointed out to them, inarguably, they get angry, and instead of trying to change it, do it more. Perhaps more cleverly, more passive-aggressively, but do it, still. How can that be the best they can do? If they are intelligent, well-read, creative…..what does it say, when time after time they choose to hurt people?
I don’t know. Really. I think if people like this are, in fact, doing the best they can then all I can do is feel sorry for them. They are so emotionally, spiritually bankrupt that they have no idea how to make their way to a different life. When we can see their potential, and they refuse to acknowledge it, what can we do?
Sometimes it seems that these people are innately evil. Sometimes I want to believe that. I have had someone actually tell me he was bad. That he was just not a nice person. That was his opinion of himself. That’s just laziness, that’s just narcissism, it’s just an excuse to stay in a place that your ego wants you in, an excuse not to evolve your soul to a higher level. I refuse, unequivocally, to believe that anyone is innately evil. But I digress.
If someone does this to you, lies, cheats, betrays, uses, manipulates and deceives you, you can get angry and never want to have anything to do with them again. Or, you can feel sorry for them, that they can’t climb out of this dark hole. But either way, the result is the same. You have to stay away from them. If the best someone can do is to hurt you, then you can get angry, or you can feel sorry for them that that’s the best they can do, but still, no matter what…you have to stay away from them.
Since I’m an Aries, and I don’t hold a grudge well, and I dislike being angry, I just forgive. That’s the first step in taking back my power from someone who has hurt me. I also will stay away from people like that. I do not want someone in my life who hurts others as a way of life. Those people who have hurt me to my core are no longer in my life, whether or not they are doing the best they can.
Yeah, I can pray for them. I can wish them well. I can hope they can change. I can wish them love and light.
And I can stay away. A long ways away.
Love and light, all.
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
Very interesting! I have given this topic a lot of thought. And read sooo much about narcissists, to try and understand what can not be understood. To me, it actually seems that there is a rather large distinction between “ordinary” people, and narcissists. In ordinary people, you will always be able to find, and REACH their inner core, their conscience, their empathy, their soul, in some way. That is my experience. I’ve had so many hard conversations in my line of work. With people who beat their children, and so on. A lot of individuals who are seen as “evil”, by society. Most of them aren’t. Most of them have a conscience, and show pain and fear, and remorse, etc. And want to do better…
BUT. With narcissists, there is this whole other universe, this whole other way of being and thinking. If someone truly is a narcissist, they have absolutely no conscience, no empathy, and no remorse. They absolutely do not care about anyone else. Their needs are the ONLY thing that matters…. Somehow, this is just so….alien, to us. It’s like we cannot fathom that these people exist. But they do. And are formed by childhood somehow, to not develop the “normal” abilities of empathy, conscience and remorse. If their soul gets another chance at that, in another life, I do not know. The only thing I’ve learned is that they will not change, in this lifetime. They don’t even understand they should change…. it’s sad.
Yes absolutely all that is true of a narc. They can also act out remorse very well. And then when you believe them, they turn around and do it again. Every thing is a manipulation to get what they want. So whatever we choose to believe about why someone behaves that way, the end result is STAY AWAY from them! They will always only hurt you in the end.
Its as if some people are in the grip of demons which others can’t see!
Thing is with this one, its really difficult to reconcile – when someone is close to you, its not ok for me to say well people are all so different, and how you can never really know them, it makes a mockery of relationships, and the whole purpose of it all. But then isn’t that what it was always all about? Testing out the boundaries and getting burnt, retreating and rebuilding, having another go, only to find . . . . and so on.
If you can overcome your demons, and someone else cannot, it tough, very much so! XOX
It is! Really. Heart-breaking. But possible to finally let them go. Usually we come to the conclusion it’s the only avenue with someone for whom boundaries are considered a challenge.
I believe you are right there – I’d call it a clash of personalities, & if its worse than that, I’d run!