I was just reading the email thread between Betty and I when she first found out about me and started reading my blog. We were both so aware we’d been played, saw him so clearly, we had no problems between us. Just two women who loved and got played by the same guy.
Enter Scott, who could not stand that he was left out of the communication. He figured out the only way to stop me was to be with me, and the only way to get her back was to make her jealous. And so he played us both a second time. And it worked! He got some wild sex for a few weeks and he got her jealous. He was in a win win situation.
I feel bad that I got so angry with her. She was so traumatized by him, and he played on what he knew were her weaknesses, telling her what she wanted to hear because it eased her pain. Whether or not it was true didn’t matter. And he’s oh, so good at making you believe. Me and her.
He pitted us against each other to stop the communication. He used her jealous nature. He used my temper. He got us to stop talking.
Like I said he’s good. He’s fucking good.
It doesn’t really matter now. I am pretty removed from it all anyway, and soon I’ll be far far away. Betty will have to decide for herself. But I think I’ll unblock her email just in case she feels the need to reach out.
It was just one of those post trauma revelations we have, trying to understand how things went down. How she snd I went from a supportive relationship to where we are now. I know a good part of the problem was that I was with him, and talking to her. I needed to be with him, for my own personal healing. But I was pretty disingenuous with her, looking back. And him???? OMG, he was such a liar, not so much to me, but to her. I feel for her really. Because she wanted to believe him, she was already so traumatized by what he’d done. I get it. You get to a point you just want the pain to stop. Whether or not she’s with him now, some day the truth will rear it’s head, the universe will right itself, and she’ll know she was played, by him again and again. For his own pleasure. Because it’s all about him. Always had been. Always will be.
How I allowed myself to be used again is beyond me, but it’s s lesson learned. I can’t say I’m mad about it now, because I should have been smart enough to see what was going on. Just here, putting it out there, once again, to have the truth on the table. Just saying, oh I get what happened, I see more clearly now. Just owning up. Standing in my story.
Gonna go back to Marianne Williamson’s suggestion to pray for those who betray us. Because at the end of the day, only love can fix a man like him. The universe’s love, lol. That unconditional kind. Not the kind of love I lavished on him. That’s now reserved for soneone who will appreciate and reciprocate it.
Love and light.
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
Pray for those who betray us? That is for to laugh! NEVER. And, do you really think “only love can fix a man like him?” NOPE. How can love possibly be a fix for somebody who has no idea what the real meaning of the word is?
Well…. I’m just a believer that only light can dissolve the darkness and only love can wipe out hate and fear. I find it easier to pray for him than to hate him. But either way I don’t want him in my life. I just think if praying for him does some how change him, it can only make the world a better place. He doesn’t know what it means now. And I feel sorry for him because of that. But maybe some day he’ll learn what it means snd turn his life around. If one person sees the light and changes, we’re all better off for it. (That being said I have no expectations, lol).
Eh…I’d want him to suffer. LOL I just don’t think anything….forgiveness…prayers…whatever can ever make these men not only realize but understand the destruction they leave behind. As long as there’s some tramp out there who is willing to “mother” them (after we have ruined them…you know…everything being our fault) they will never see the truth about themselves….nor will they want to…nor will they have to.
You’re probably right. Nothing will ever change him. But I think he suffers already. His spirit is dead, he has COOD, diabetes, bad neuropathy. He’s 68. Not much time left for him to “come to Jesus” lol. But it would be nice for everyone if he did. Not my worry. I’m gone. And I’m not suffering, not one bit. Lol.
Do you mean COPD…or COOD? I’m familiar with both.
You know, Deb. you say you’re not suffering…I say I’m not suffering…but we’re both still suffering. Both of those guys are still in our heads and all over our posts. You’re a little more gracious with S than I am with Loser but they’re still with us.
COPD. LOL Well he is still in my thoughts for sure. But not in that painful “I’m gonna die” way. That relationship was a huge part of my life for almost 2 years. My ex was for 40 years. There’s no way to think about how I got from there to here without including that relationship. I learned a lot. It want a waste completely. I’m much better equipped now to find a healthy living relationship. I was more like you with my ex, but even him,now he’s just so pathetic. I gotta feel sorry for him. They will both always be with me, but it’s the role I give them that matters. Which is, I think, that they are men I loved snd learned from. Hard lessons but I’m glad to have them. Really. Better to know than to not, I hate being naive. And at least I can stand up and be counted, which neither of them will ever do.
I was thinking yesterday about how I should really feel happy…that Loser has been relegated to having to settle for some tramp, who has no morals or honor because that’s all he could find…and afford. Water seeks it’s own level and he sure sought his….this highly educated man who called himself “God”…the man who everybody whispers about behind his back because now he is tantamount to “trailer trash.” (I’m so glad I got rid of his name.) LOL
I am not as gracious as you. I hope for nothing good…for either one of them. LOL (I know…I’m a bitch.)
Omg. Scott used to say that about water seeking its own level. All the time. When Betty found out about me she told me that she said to him, “you know how you always say water seeks its own level?? Well you just drowned buddy!” I had to laugh. As it turns out he was still treading water but the story hadn’t ended yet, or maybe it has and I just don’t know it. Lol.
Try not to think of them at all. 🙃 they will still prove to be their own worst enemy. The WTC may unload him once she’s been with him long enough and has figured out a way to get some of his assets. But it sounds like you’re beginning to be grateful at least that you aren’t with him. Xo
LOL. He has too many assets…plus a lot of land. She can sell that after he dies and she and her daughter will never have to work another day in their lives. She’s not going to let that possibility slip through her hands.
I love Bettys’ “you just drowned, buddy.” I’m with you…that was hilarious. I think she may have misinterpreted the meaning of the phase. LOL