I have not been sleeping well lately. Waking up every two hours. That’s fairly normal for me, I am not a good sleeper. I used to be, way back in the day before I realized my ex was trying to systematically steal my soul. It’s better now, I can usually sleep without help, but still I have those nights where sleep evades me.
I also have some digestive issues going on. Not going to the dr, yet, but trying to deal with them myself. Louise Hay says they are caused by “fear, rejection, and running off.” Am I still subconsciously feeling all that? I don’t know.
Fear? I think if I’m fearful it’s about my son moving to CO, being on his own in a new place, not being there for him, though I still will be, but not the same as when we are in the same house. I know I am struggling with this, but I also know he needs to do this. It’s time, he’s ready. As ready as he ever will be. He’s not good with change, and I suppose that’s part of what I’m worried about.
Rejection? Well, yes, I was definitely rejected. But I realize that is not because of who I am, but because of who he is, how he perceives life. I do think I have a little trouble comprehending the choices that he made, makes, but that is getting farther and farther from my mind. I don’t really think too much about it any more. I’ve dissected what happened with him, over and over again. I think I have all the answers I need. I’m moving on, moving away. Which leads me to the last thing.
Running off? I don’t think so. I have been planning this move since before I met him. He has known it since a few months into our relationship. Maybe it affected his choices but I don’t think so. He asked what we would do when I moved. I said, “Are you going to work forever? Don’t you want to come to Florida to visit? Can’t I come up here? In between we can each have our space.” He wanted his space so much, with me anyway. I’m not sure he really did, but was just keeping his distance, in case Betty came back, which I guess he thought she might, because she did.
Whatever, I don’t think I’m running off. I’ve been planning this for at least 2 years, it’s the only way I can retire, is to move, to have a home with no mortgage, where it’s less expensive to live. I want to be where it’s warm, where I have family for once in my life. It will be a good thing for me. It will be a perfect life for me. He could have joined me in it, but I wasn’t the one he wanted to do that with, and honestly, that was a blessing, because it never would have worked. He was way too resistant to rising. Way too resistant to evolving his soul, and that’s what my life is all about. So, I’m not running away. I’m running toward.
I’ve been taking pro-biotics, hopefully they will help, and whatever this bug is will go away.
I had book club last night. It was, as always, fun to hang out with my good friends talking about what we love to talk about. Our individual journeys. We talked about dreams, vivid lucid dreams, and whether there can be soul travel during dreams. We talked about creativity and how important it is that everyone use their creativity, how everyone has creativity. We picked our book for next time, The Return to Love by Marianne Williamson. A couple of us have already read it, but are totally willing to read it again. It’s been years since I first read it. I’m trying actually, to finish the actual text of A Course in Miracles. I have about 70 pages left, after having put it down for months. They all offered to come over and help me pack, when I get the house sold.
We had our primary in CT yesterday, and I was feeling the BERN. I love that man. He did well, in the early returns he was winning here, but eventually, lost by 5 points to Hillary. I’m happy though, his candidacy finally got my son to register and vote for his first time. The fact that Bernie did so well at all is heartening to me. Because it shows a huge shift in this country, away from the fear of socialism to many people beginning to embrace it. Donald Trump….. Geezus, he scares me. I don’t know how anyone can take him seriously, can actually want a man like that as president. It boggles the mind.
Well, off to work. Love and light everyone.
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
I can understand your sleeplessness with all you’re tackling. Hang in there – you’re making great positive moves – the pro-biotic, the book club, your positive outlook on the primary results – and all that in just this post. There WILL be light.
Thanks so much. I guess that’s why I write. To get through the negative and find the positive. Thanks for reading! Your thoughts are much appreciated. 😊
Learning, try aloe vera juice and orange juice. Drink it mixed.
It will cure what your problem is.
I used to also have a ulcer. A bad one from school. They used to fight there alot. And that was years ago.
I would hurt so bad I would fall to the floor. I did that ina ER room once. They had to get the keys to the bathroom.
Pills did nothing for it. Then someome told me about this….and…it worked!
Aloe vera will help a lot of problems.
Tastes like yuck..but it works.
Try getting as pure as you can get on the aloe.
Thanks donuts! I used to have a bottle in the fridge years ago, all the time. I can’t remember why I stopped. Maybe it’s time to start buying it again. My son works at a health food store, I’m sure he can get it as pure as is available. I rarely have anything like this, and never for more than a day. But I went back on the pro-biotics tonight and forgot about the stuff for a cold. Hopefully that will get it back under control.
Yes, probiotocs are good too… and they say sauerkraut is good too.. fermented things they say are good for the gut.
Yes, probiotocs are good too… and they say fermented things they say are good for the gut.
Wait a minute! You don’t like “the Donald?” LOL Is it just me or is he sort of like a cartoon character? I don’t really keep up with him or his antics but from the little snippets I do hear, he’s quite the comedian.
I’m not sure I would consider your move as running. I “ran” but it was to remove myself from a painful situation and lifestyle. The way I saw it was…I could be just as alone five or six hundred miles away as I could five or six miles away. I don’t regret it…and neither will you. When you get where you’re going, maybe you’ll be able to sleep.
I had to take a sleeping pill every single night for more than two years and even that didn’t work very well.
When I moved into my new place, I decided not to take them anymore. I actually started sleeping a little better.
Hugs 🙂
Lol laurel….
Personally id fire his hairdresser. 😉
Actually he has been telling a lot of truth..but now kinda waffling. I don’t ( and didn’t expect hom to run even this long…)
I think he has been saying wha people want to hear..
I have a bad gut feeling who is going to be president next….and she isn’t a nice person. Really.
I knew the last two times who was going to be prez.
It made my husband mad. Well…. what can I say??