So I got my house in perfect running order. It has never been so clean. I left the house at 11:15, they were due for the showing at 11:30. I went with a friend to the mall, to help her look for a dress for a wedding. I got a push alert, saying there was feedback on my house. So I excitedly clicked on the app, and looked to see what they said. Did they notice that the lawn needed cutting? Did they notice that the weeds on the patio have started coming up again, because I haven’t had a chance to get the spray to kill them?
No……
The realtor couldn’t get the lock box unlocked, so they didn’t show the house!!!!!! WTF? Don’t they hold a class for the realtors in unlocking a lock box? It’s a digital combination.
So, I busted my ass all weekend and they didn’t show. They said they would like to reschedule. I messaged my realtor, she said, yes, this guy is older and always has trouble with the lock boxes. If she’d known, she lives across the street. She probably could have come over and opened it for him. Frustrating. I told her to reschedule them and I’ll leave the door open. And I am so beat.
Still have this lower GI thing going on. It’s better, but it’s still a pain. It just wears me out.
My son has become a huge fan of the show Game of Thrones. Enough that he wants to come up out of the cave to watch it on the big TV every Sunday night now. Which is kind of cool. I can’t figure out what the heck is going on in it, but I have kind of attempted, just because he’s so into it. It’s on in 20 minutes. But tonight, I may not make it through more than 15 minutes or so.
I just watched an ad for the reality show Sister Wives. The husband, in the ad, who has 5 wives, is accusing one of the wives of having an affair. LMAO. He’s fucking 5 women, and gets mad at her for finding one other man. WTF. How does anyone take that seriously? And she’s upset at being accused. But she doesn’t mind that he has 4 other wives that he beds down regularly.
I guess we all know, or at least a bunch of us know, men who would love that arrangement. Scott used to tell me he’d like to have a different woman every day. (of course, then he’s say, oh Deb, that’s just a fantasy.) Well, he tried, lol, to at least alternate women. It worked for him. Not for the women he fucked and fucked over though.
If my language is too vulgar, I apologize. Sometimes there is no other word that works. It’s not that I have no other words, lol. I have way too many I’ve been told. But the F-word is the only one that fits in this situation. It was fucking, pure and simple. Pure selfish pleasure for him. With both of us. Oh he’d like to deny it now, but it’s easier to deny that he ever told me he cared for me. Much easier than saying he didn’t care for either of us, but that’s the truth. He cared for Scott. He’s not capable of real change. Proven by his attempts to rewrite history, rather than be accountable for his actions. I was there, and I remember. The things he said to me are burned into my memory. His callousness, thoughtlessness, toward me, after what he did to me is really beyond the pale of human decency.
Whatever. Tonight I’m ok with my past. I have no regrets. I can live with my behavior, my actions. I have not shamed myself in anyway. He has to live with his own actions, and how he does that is none of my business. Soon I’ll be a long ways away, and hopefully this sordid chapter of my life will fade into the past.
It still astonishes me that I can miss that man. But I can. Sometimes. For a little while. Til I remember.
Maybe I just miss the sex, lol.
Love and light all.
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
Black clouds cast only temporary shadows- after the rain subsides, they dissolve and there are blue skies ahead …try to remember that..and keep moving ahead one step at a time😉😎
Those stupid lock boxes. I left the door open as well. The lock box wouldn’t fit on the front door because the handle was original to the house (from 1920) and it wouldn’t fit on the back door either. LOL
Hope they come back, can figure out the box and “make you an offer you can’t refuse!”
Argh.
It’s as you say: we remember all that they did, and said. I am sure that narcs would prefer if we didn’t remember… but, no such luck, for them!
“The North remembers”. = Great Game of Thrones quote! 😉 I see your son is a Game of Thrones fan. Good lad!! You’ve raised him right. Lol. 😀
Yes I’ve gotten so many complaints that i keep talking about the past. “Let it go! Things can be different!” Yes…that was 1 week before I found out about Betty Boop. They were different all right.
Anyway, how else should I describe what was done to me? Sweetly? Nicely? It ripped me apart. And still can if I don’t stop myself from going there. Lol about Game of Thrones.
Yes… there is a danger in not remembering all the pain they caused. Even if it will fade with time, it is good that we remember. Otherwise we tend to fall for their lies all over again.. *shudders*. Hugs 🙂
Yep. I tend to force accountability. And I usually get the silent treatment. Which is ok with me. He only pops up on rare occasion now.
Oh… I had a bad episode of trying to force accountability on the ex narc when he last texted me. It exhausted me to the point that I simply wrote that I would shut my phone off until I get my new phone (it is ordered, but not delivered yet). I even told him about the blocking app that I will get, and how that will be very nice. Lol. I will have to write a blog post about that exchange or at least some of the feelings about it, cause it is friggin’ amazing how they can not be held accountable. Ever. I still can not fathom it.. lol.
I am so glad that you do not get disturbed very often. I have not replied to the last 4(!) messages from narc, so hopefully he will keep quiet now.
Ahhh, my friend. What is it with these people who can not be held accountable? It is mind boggling, eh? Lol. Hugs.
It only takes one from me and he disappears. If he doesn’t want to be accountable I don’t want to talk to him. I think he knows this. If he can’t say “I’m sorry I told her that, Deb. I am sorry I showed her your private writing. I know I shouldn’t have done that. I’m sorry I hurt you again.” Then I don’t need to talk to him. He knows this. So if he can put his head on the pillow and sleep with the way he’s treated me, without apologizing for it, then more power to him. But I will be long gone. I will stand my ground. Once he told me to stop talking about the prison whore. I said don’t treat me like her and I won’t talk about her. Because he was treating me like shit, which is his normal mode. Not always, but since Betty showed up. As if I did anything to deserve that treatment. But I can walk. I’ve gotten good at it. Been walking for some time now. Doesn’t mean I don’t love him snd miss him every day. But I can walk before I’ll be treated like that.
Yes. Agree. Here is to us never being treated like shit again. If someone does that to us again – they better enjoy the view of our backs – cause we walk away!! Lol. 😉 xo Good to hear such strength in your posts. 🙂