I got a FB message from my friend in FL. She went over to my house and said all is well inside, but on the front porch there was a horde of ants crawling up the side and under the eaves. Bugs…lol. The bane of Florida from what I can tell.
I don’t know what I can do about it from here, lol. Ask her to get a giant can of Raid?
But this morning, I am more convinced than ever that this stomach thing is stress, worry. I found a guided meditation with over 2 million views on stress relief. (https://youtu.be/EIJQsE8C5Is) As with many guided meditations, you focus on your breath, breathing it into your stomach. I realized how tense my stomach and abdomen muscles are if I’m not thinking about it. I focused on releasing the tension. At one point I kind of felt my muscles actually kind of turn to mush.
I made a mental list of the stressors, in no particular order of importance
1. Selling my house. Selling it for enough money to do what I need to do with it.
2. Getting my son moved to CO
3. Moving myself to FL.
4. My son moving so far away. This is different than getting it moved, it refers to not having him close to me.
5. Stuff I need to do on the FL house. Replace some windows. Buy a shed, a washer and dryer. Landscape the yard. Get rid of the ants, lol.
6. My mom’s estate. My sis has organized all this, but I think I still have some paperwork I need to complete, and I don’t know where to send it. And I will need the money from her estate, even though it’s not a ton, it will help with all my moving expenses. So I need to do it, and I keep putting it off.
7. Painting the deck on this house.
8. Work…I have to start training a new person, and I hate them to start when I am so far behind in so much of my work. I have not organized my thoughts on training at all, and I have to start Monday.
9. Selling the furniture I can’t take with me.
10. Scott. This is one I just need to let go of. That relationship is over, I am still grieving it. His cryptic sporadic indirect contact was of no help with this, but I intend to be strong enough to just ignore any further attempts. There is never anything but misery in the end, and I’m done with it, I think.
So none of this stuff is small stuff. It’s all fairly big, important stuff. When I don’t consciously make the effort, it knots my stomach up as it overwhelms me emotionally. It’s all real physical stuff to do. Except worrying about my son living on his own so far away, and dealing with the left over emotions from my relationship. Those things I just have to let go of, and trust in the universe to work it out for everyone’s higher good.
Sorting out this stuff this morning. Making some progress I think. Going to spend time each morning and evening and lunchtime when I can, physically alleviating the stress like I did this morning.
Love and light, folks.
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I think it is a massive step that you compiled the list of stressors – and turned it into a proper to-do list. I, too, sometimes find myself in a lot of stress because I know I have countless tasks that I need to finish off but it is all so confusing and stressful and hectic that I don’t even know where to start. And then, a list is the solution! Not that I always complete and check off all the items on my lists, but hey, at least I have a more transparent set of issues to deal with, and that in itself alleviates some of the stress. I think this whole moving thing is so exciting – I’m so excited for you!
It really is a good step. There is a lot of emotion tied up in it all. I have lived in the same town for 40 years. I have a huge support base here, as does my son. I love my home here. But I have to let go of so much attachment. I can’t afford to retire here. Florida is exactly what I want, and I know the time is right for my son. But the attachments are strong, just like the connection to Scott. So a ton of stuff to deal with emotionally. I thought heck, if I can get through a divorce that went to the Supreme Court, I can get through anything. But that was a single issue, I could focus on just getting through that. This is layers and layers. Much more difficult to change your life do radically even if it’s absolutely the right thing. I’ll do it. I’ll be fine. Just have to let go.
Try to see a lot of it as very “temporary” stuff, like the work stuff, it is just a matter of months really, and then, a much calmer life awaits. When I think about that I have 30 years left of work life, I almost want to die, frankly. It feels like such a waste of my life, and so heavy. If I had only months left, I would be over the moon! 😄 Just saying this to give another perspective on the work stuff.
There is a lot going on at the same time though, I have had that too in my life, many changes at once so I know how overwhelming it can become. Just remember that you are much stronger than you can think and you can handle all of it. You got this! 😊
And the de-stressing meditation sounds like a great way to help you also. Just imagine, one day soon you will be in Florida in a new life. It will be wonderful.😊💜