I had a dream last night, or maybe the night before.  I just remembered it when I was reading about Laurel’s dream.  (https://myjourneyintodarkness.wordpress.com/)

I was driving.  Always driving in my dreams, which is about my life’s journey.  It was night, and I couldn’t manage to turn the headlights on in the car.  They weren’t on the thingy that sticks out on the steering column, like on most cars.   So I was driving in the dark, one of my friends was with me.  She climbed over the seat and sat in the back while I tried to figure out why the lights wouldn’t go on. I was kind of freaking out, because it was really dark, like new moon dark.  I finally pulled over and stopped driving to find out how to get the headlights on.

And then I woke up.

I was on my life’s journey and I couldn’t find the light.  And I stopped.

Not a good thing for me.  It’s an eternal quest for me, to find light, to be light, to go to the light, to shine the light where ever I can.  And I couldn’t find it.

And I can’t stop, I have to  keep moving forward.

About night Dreammoods says “To have a dream that takes place at night represents some major setbacks and obstacles in achieving your goals. You are being faced with an issue that is not so clear cut. Perhaps, you should put the issues aside so you can clear your head and come back to it later. Alternatively, night may be synonymous with death, rebirth, reflection, and new beginnings.

It’s possible that it was a mixture of an issue that is not clear cut, and perhaps reflection and new beginnings.  New beginnings only because my new house is an 11.  The issue that is not clear cut, well, chances are it never will be.  But I do have to figure out a way to put it aside, and not dwell on it any longer. It sets me back, if I am not paying close attention.

Too many triggers this weekend I guess .  I need to get moved.  I need my health back.  I need to forget the man who tried so hard to bring darkness to my light, who messed with my head once again last week, and I fear he was more successful than I thought.  That should be good supply for his ego, to read that. To know he can still fuck with my head.  This one’s on me, if he’s reading this.  At least he’s not fucking with the rest of me anymore.

This is a haiku I wrote, then trashed.  But I’m feeling like putting it up tonight.  I feel a little angry.

You fucked me over

Yet my heart remained open.

Why did you play games?

There was a time, a few years ago, when I dreamed I was in a crystal cathedral.  All the walls, floors, roof, steps, everything, was made of quartz crystal. Even the bannister on the stairs. The light was amazing in there.  When I went in I walked up this huge crystal staircase to like a mezannine, where you could look out over the floor below.  Going up means you are raising your level of consciousness.

I want that dream back.  Fuck the darkness, and the people who spread it.  They can join the quest to bring the light or leave me the fuck alone.  Or, they can at least help me find my way in the dark.

Love and LIGHT, everyone.