As if there weren’t enough stuff to deal with.  I got the actual invitation to my niece’s wedding today.  I haven’t even opened it. I haven’t called my sister-in-law back yet.  I have been getting home from work so late, and am so tired, just didn’t have it in me to deal with.

Then of course, as soon as I sat down, my ex called me.  I let it go to VM.  I just can’t deal with him too right now.  I’m sure it was about the wedding.  Of course, he didn’t leave a real message, just has some “things he wants to talk to me about.”  Would I call him back tonight.  He tried my land line too.  Geezus.

I hope he doesn’t have some creepy idea that we could all go to the wedding in one car, or God forbid, stay together.  I haven’t even told him I’m moving yet, or that my son is. He is so far from reality, he might just suggest something along those lines. Not necessarily to be with me, but to be with my son. And to save money, he’s the worlds biggest penny pincher. He actually would try to squeeze blood out of a nickel.

I can’t imagine what he’s thinking, and I don’t want to. God, I just wanted to go to the wedding and see him there. Not make a plan with him. The worlds most expert manipulator. I wouldn’t ride in the car with him to Maine for all the gold in the world. I spent enough of that horrible time, locked up with him while he went off on me or more likely my son, when son played hockey. Driving all over New England and New York and New Jersey to watch a game for an hour or two, and drive home. Listening to him rant. 5 hours in a car with him to Maine? Not a fucking chance.

I’m pretty sure if I suggested it to my son, he’d laugh and then tell me he’d rather not go. It will be enough for him to be in the vicinity of his father, and probably have to talk to him. But leave it to his father to try to force it.

Asshole.

I hope someday I can feel about Scott the way I feel about my ex. Geezus, it would be so easy. I cannot stand my ex. But I guess 30 years of abuse does that to you, lol. With Scott, I was only abused for the last year, the first one was wonderful. Just a year of abuse, lol. And different types of abuse. Although the other night, Scott was vying for my ex’s bullying tactics pretty well. I’d give him a close second. But my ex is still the soul stealing champ. So there’s something for you to aspire to Scott, since I know you’re reading this. But practice it on someone else. Please.

Nightmare.

Well, love and light everyone. I hope I don’t have nightmares of my ex and I in a car together. UGH.