I Sat With It, and Hugged It Goodbye

sitting with sadness

Tonight is much better than this morning. I don’t know why I was in such a dark place this morning, but I was. I learned a long time ago that when I go there, I have to accept that’s where I am. In this dark hole, and I’ll be there until I can get out. I’m lucky, it never really takes me that long.

I went to lunch at the cove on the river. It was a beautiful, albeit very hot, day, in the 90’s. When I got there, I could see dark clouds on the horizon. I was reading Marianne Williamson’s book, A Return to Love, about how betrayal is so difficult to overcome, because the knife you get in your back is put there by someone you completely trusted and felt safe with. The dark clouds started spitting rain, and I swear, I was spitting tears. I am so sick of re-covering this ground, over and over again. Plus the house, I want this house sold. I want to get away from here, from all these memories, from all the chaos that has been my life for the past year, and start fresh.

I sat in the car in the rain, just closed my eyes, let it come in the windows, and cool me off, cleansing rain. I needed it. I thought about my poem this morning, and just surrendered, because there is nothing else I can do. It’s amazing what happens when you really do that.

I got a request to show my house on Sunday, about an hour later. When I told my son, we made a date to go out to breakfast Sunday while they are here. I got three new blog followers, which while it may not be much, it’s a lot to me. The new girl I’m training was making me laugh. Tonight I had a nice long phone conversation with a good friend. And on the way home from work, I saw a rainbow.

Little things, little signs from the universe that my place here is secured, that life is progressing the way it should. Sometimes you just have to sit with your sadness. Acknowledge it. Let it be for a while. Then give it a hug, and tell it to go outside and play, you are done sulking because you’re alone, or your house won’t sell, or you have to go to work on an amazing summer day.

I have so much that I’m blessed with. So much. Like a nice cool bedroom where I’m about to go and call it a day. Love and light, all.

5 responses to “I Sat With It, and Hugged It Goodbye

  1. I absolutely loved that book!!! Another one of hers which is excellent is A Woman’s Worth. It was absolutely fantastic. I enjoy your blogs immensely! Thank you for sharing your journey.

    • I’m so glad you like it! Thank you so much. I am reading this for the 2nd time, the first maybe 5 years ago. I have a bunch of her books, The Gift of Live, The Law of Divine Compensation, maybe more, lol. She can always always straighten out my thinking. Realign body, mind and spirit. So glad to have you here!

      • My all time favorite is her poem, saying, I can not remember… But I keep it on me at all times. When I was working I had it in my office and would encourage my clients to keep it with them …

        “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous? Actually, who are you not to be?” —-Makes me smile every time!!!

        I’ll be waiting for you haikus!!! I now read them to my colleagues because I believe that they are fabulous.

      • Wow!!! You honor me!!!! Holy cow!! That quote, I love it too! My son loves the movie Coach Carter. There’s a scene in the movie where a kid gets up from his desk and recites the whole thing. My son could say the entire thing with him!! I looked at my son, who is 24 now, maybe 22 then, “um…. I have the rest of that book up in my nightstand, if you want to read it…” lol. Have you watched any of Oprah’s interviews with her on Own? Fabulous. Plus you can sign up to live stream her weekly talks in LA for free too. She is definitely one of my heroes. Her, Brene Brown, and Liz Gilbert. Love those 3 women! Thanks again. You made my night!!!

      • Yes I watched her on Oprah. I started reading her about five years ago too. Beene brown rocks. I would show her first TED talk to clients. I used her shame resilience techniques in therapy. Elizabeth Gilbert is fantastic too. I also enjoy Joseph Campbell. I am a stories heal the soul type of person. Have a great night.

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