It’s been a long day. Put in about a 10 hour work day. I lowered the price on the house and now I have a 2nd showing for someone tomorrow night. That’s a good thing, and what I hoped would happen if I dropped the price. Very happy about it. Even though I’ll now lose at least $10K more.
I had a lovely convo with one of my WP buddies tonight. It is amazing how parallel our lives have been, and somehow we found each other just to each other. It was very soothing.
I know I’ve been writing a lot of stuff about Scott lately. I have. I seem to be able to go long periods without talking about him, and writing about other things, but then some more of the pain, or whatever, will float to the top and I have found the only way to deal with it for me, is to write it out. I suppose he’s still reading it, but the way I see it, none of it is news to him. Not the way I feel, or felt, or any of it. One thing we had was a pretty intense communication. My side of it was very real, all the time. So, I write it anyway, knowing that I might be supplying his need for attention, but it’s more important that I work this stuff out for myself the best way I can. And maybe he’s not reading it, and maybe he is, but either way, I won’t know if he is, and as long as I don’t have to hear about it, I’m ok with it. I’m pretty sure he believes that if he were to contact me I’d tell Betty. But really, I don’t want any contact with either of them. I want my leg of that triangle pulled out. I’m tired of it all. He loves the triangulation, he loves having two women fighting for him, and I never was. I was only ever fighting to have the truth be told, and not have history rewritten. I will stand by that story, it’s the truth. But I won’t talk to her, I won’t open up the opportunity for any more drama between the three of us.
So, there may, from time to time, be more from that quarter. Marianne Williamson tells us that betrayal is so difficult to overcome, to heal from. When the knife in our back is held by a trusted friend or lover, it just takes time. And for me, words. Lots of words. I’ve already spent a lot of words on it, and I’m probably a good part of the way done, but I know there will be more occasionally. Until the next time, I hope I can find some other amazing things in the world to write Haiku and Tanka and just my own freestyle brand of poetry.
It’s off to bed. I have to touch up the house for the showing tomorrow night. Got a little work to do, not much. Praying that maybe this is the one. It would get me in Florida sometime in the fall most likely. Good time to go.
Love and light, everyone.