I woke at 5:15 this morning. Pretty much my normal time. A few minutes later I got up, and a crack of thunder greeted me. So, I’m not sitting outside this morning, but in my family room, as I do in winter.
Its so silent in the house. It’s closed up because the air-conditioning is on. No birds, or breeze, I can’t hear the rain falling. I used to turn the tv on, and catch the news. I’ve stopped doing that, I prefer the silence over all the political news, and finding out that man was once again inexplicably cruel and crazy to his fellow man. I live in a bubble most of the summer, and I like it that way.
I’m trying to organize this move. Tonight my son and I will talk, and try to get a schedule down of when he’s going, and who is going with him, and where he’s going to go. Meaning, where is he going to live when he gets there. He has a lot of work to do around this move.
In the meantime I have to get a price on moving my things. I talked to the friend who said she would drive with me to FL, and she said that September is probably a good time for her. I think Aug. 26 will be my last day of work. Then I can spend some time packing up, and going to Colorado with my son if that’s what is going to happen, and come back, finish packing and close the middle of the month.
My sister says I can stay at her place in FL as long as I need, when I get there. She won’t be there til October. But she has an apartment over her garage where my friend and I can stay til we get my house organized, which shouldn’t be more than a few days.
So really, my only worry is my son. A lot of that is letting go type worry. He’s been with me pretty much his whole life, except when I left his father and then he was only a mile and a half away. This is going to be so hard, having him so far away. And hard for him too. Add a little guilt into it, because he tells me if he didn’t have to move, he’d stay right here. I wish, right now, that he was coming to FL with me. 2000 miles is a long way away.
I do know that at 24, it’s time for him to spread his wings and fly on his own. He is not good with change, and would prefer to remain in his comfort zone, here. What he’s chosen is such a huge change. To be on his own for the first time, 2000 miles away, in a new place, new job. But then, I have to remember, in 1972 I came to CT with $80, no job lined up, no place to stay except my then bf’s, now ex-husband’s, parent’s house for a couple weeks. I know he can make it work. I have to trust the universe in this. And my son’s ability to think things through and make good decisions.
Now it’s on to finding a mover for my stuff. Getting some boxes and beginning to pack them up.
I can’t go to my niece’s wedding in Maine now. I just don’t see how I can fit a weekend away in, when I’m moving two weeks later. Just not going to happen. And I don’t really want to spend the $, which will be about $500, though I would if it wasn’t so close to my moving date.
So just musing this morning. I had to open the sliding door to my deck, and get some of the fresh air, and listen to the rain falling. Think I will go do my meditation, and see if I can’t get rid of some of this angst about my son.
Love and light, all.