This morning was so hard, and now, tonight, I am in such a different place. Still know I’m gonna miss him, but not disabled by it. Not morose. Talking with him did me so much good. And then, the gong bath…Oh my….
If you meditate, then you can maybe imagine the state of an intense deep meditation accompanied by many vibrational instruments. It usually starts with bells, or crystal bowls, or both,the gongs come in at a low resonant rumble and slowly the intensity climbs to what we call a tsunami. The vibration of the gongs just fills the room with sound, and the vibrations go through you, not around you. I can’t really describe it, but it facilitates such a deep meditation.
Tonight I had a bit of a time shutting down the mind chatter, just because it’s been on overload now for weeks. Finally, I just went to a place of surrender. I thought, I’ve been surrendering pieces of all this stuff, when the piece became too much to deal with. But why just a piece? Surrender it all. Give it all over to the universe, to God, if you will….just let go of the incessant need to control and know everything will be ok. As if I had any control to begin with.
The universe has never let me down. Every single time I’ve surrendered a problem to it, my answer came immediately and brought me joy. Every. Single. Time. Tonight I just gave it all over, the trip, the separation, our new lives, our relationship as mother and son, the pain, the joy.
And from that I went to gratitude. Just so grateful that the people I have needed have been put in my path, and that for the last 6 or 7 years, I have had the gongs to go to twice a month, at least, to work through probably the hardest, most traumatic events of my life. They have been so instrumental in my healing. I was specifically grateful for the presence of Peter and Linda in my life. (They put on the gong baths, but we are close friends now as well.)
So when it was over, I was teary eyed, but not unhappy. I am actually looking forward to all that is to come, finally, for the first time.
At the end, they always play drums. And then usually some soft bells or something. As they were playing the drums, we could hear them whispering to each other, and then they started laughing, and then the light went on…..
A BAT had gotten in to their house! It was flying around, people were screaming and ducking and laughing…..OMG, it was so funny. We opened the door to the deck, and other doors to the outside, and it would fly down the stairs and back up. When we thought it was trapped elsewhere in their house (big house, maybe 4000 sq. ft.) someone looked up the bat energy/medicine in AnimalSpeak, which happened to be in the room.
I googled the bat medicine/energy when I got home, because I don’t have AnimalSpeak, and here is what I found on another site (www.shamanicjourney.com).
“Bat’s wisdom includes shamanic death and rebirth, initiation, viewing past lives, pollination of new ideas, transition, understanding grief, the use of vibrational sound, camouflage, invisibility, ability to observe unseen, secrets.”
Geezus!!! Transition, new ideas, initiation, understanding grief, the use of vibrational sound!!! Everyone kept saying it came here for you, Deb. It’s message was for you! Although I’m sure I am not the only one with big changes going on. But the fact that it mentions use of vibrational sound and came in on a gong bath? CRAZY. JUST CRAZY.
There are no coincidences. I am sure that the journey I am undertaking is the right one, that my son and I should both be taking. Honestly….I think the bat was the response to my surrender. To send the message that I was heard, and my path is a good one.
Feeling pretty good about things right now. Really good. Tomorrow we begin.
Love and light, all.