Life can get crazy. Retirement, kids leaving home, selling your dream house, making a new dream, moving away, leaving all you know, most of the people you love, getting in an accident, having your life turned upside down. All in 6 weeks.
I am exhausted tonight. After getting the car squared away, I am exhausted, emotionally. I keep wanting to sleep, and when I go to bed, I need an Ambien because I can’t shut down the chatter. In the peace and quiet of my own room, in my own bed, I find myself overwhelmed.
So much of the change is positive. People ask me how I like retirement. I have no idea. I dream of a day when I wake up and everything is in it’s place in my house. I have a washer and dryer, I have the shed up and my lawnmower put away. I have new windows. I have a corner of my living room set up, by the corner windows, where the best light is, where I can make jewelry, or write, or who knows what, in the future. Then I’ll be able to answer that question.
I’ve had to run on autopilot since the accident. There was just too much. I had to drive myself, like I did during my divorce, so I could at least get back to the place where I knew I had a good car in the driveway. At least.
I have to add that the poetry reading/singing thing, added to this exhaustion. It’s not something I expected. It’s something I love, and I’m happy that it happened. It’s on such a small scale, it’s not that big a deal down here. Tons of people write, and there are readings everywhere a lot. It was just big to me, because my writing has always been pretty anonymous. It’s been in my blog and only one person that ever read my blog knew who I was. But now….people have heard it, and seen me and known int was me, and it overwhelmed me, to take it from a private personal creation to a much more public one.
So that was good emotion, but emotion, still.
Tomorrow someone’s coming here to give me a price on the windows. I have a dr appt too, for a back massage, therapy. I wish I had no appointments at all. I want to sit in my house and veg, or put up pictures or something.
I need to get the chaos out of my life. Wish I had a shoulder to lean on. Maybe I’m just tired. I’ll go to bed, I’ll lose the malaise by the sunrise.
Love and light, everyone.
learningtolivelikewaterblog.com 
How about living in the moment. Eckardt Tolle talks about calming your mind… A preacher once told me this in simple words; yesterday was a cancelled check, tomorrow a promissory note and today is what counts… Cash… Simple sounding but I liked it
I must have missed that you had an accident, 😦 I hope you are ok! ⚘
S, I was rear ended at a dead stop by a pick up truck doing about 40. Sent me clear across the intersection. Car was totaled, and I have neck and lower back issues. So, I’ve been in a rental car for a week, looking for a car. I bought one yesterday, and now I’d just like life to get back to normal. I’ll send you an email….
Sorry you went through that! 💜 Also sorry I am so inconsistent with blogging/reading blogs and emailing, 😦 it is just that I am in the start up phase of “my company” and am working very hard, lol.
I hope to be better with these things in future. I do think about you often though, and all the rest of my bloggies. Hugs!! ⚘
No problem, S. I get it. I am having a hard time keeping up too. We’re all doing the best we can. xo
Cool, I know you’d get it, of all people 😉 You have a lot of empathy my friend. I can only say I am at very high levels of busy/stress, cause I am trying to make my first “customer” feel like they have made a good choice investing in a deal with me. That means working hard, in itself. But then I happened to over hear today, that the management at my customer’s office, are not happy with how high the costs run, to be able to keep people on a contract (Like me). So I am extra nervous to show that I am of very much use to them. It is just taking a roll and havent been sleeping much at all lately. I will hope to return more actively to blogging once everything gets more settled. Please take care friend, and know to that my thoughts are with you! 💜
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