Sometimes we have to reground and recenter ourselves. Especially when we’ve gone through a lot of emotional upheaval. This morning, I knew I needed to get back to basics. Back to my meditation practice. Back to gratitude for all the blessings of my life.
And I knew that some of the things I held onto had to be let go.
I did some self-reiki during my meditation, focusing on my solar plexus and sacral chakras. In these two places are all our emotions, all our creativity, our sexual drive. Since this stomach thing, located in these chakras, has manifested, I’ve been unable to write anything creative. I’ve let old emotions take over. I’ve allowed negative emotions in my life.
Which, personally, is how I believe the bug got into me anyway. I weakened those areas with thoughts and beliefs that are not true, are inappropriate, that have little or no basis in reality, and can never become the possibilities I made up in my mind. Lie to yourself, and you will pay.
I have retreated, to within myself for awhile. I will allow my strengths to take back over. I will allow my perceptions to be based on whats real, and not what I would have liked to be real. Things are what they are. I have no judgments of them, I only know what fits in my life and what doesn’t. I intend to keep those things that do fit, that just feel right. Forcing nothing. I intend to stop pretending that some things are different than they will ever be, or could be different. They are not. Not now. Not in this moment. The future? It doesn’t really matter, does it?
It felt good to sit in silence, and to clear my mind of so much extraneous stuff. Really good. I feel like doing it all day. Except when my sister comes, with her husband and the two of them infuse my life with more love than it has right now. I’m so blessed to have them.
I once went to a psychic who told me to cut the cords that attached me to the negative energies, and to turn the ends of those cords back around to me. She told me Mother Mary was with me, because I needed to nurture myself. Her words echo in my head, because that was months ago, after my mother died. She told me that I neglected myself, as I took care of people that I loved.
With that in mind, I return to myself this morning, taking care of myself, allowing myself to grieve what I need to grieve, and let go of what needs to be let go. Accept the love from the people who love me. Find joy in the minutia and the mundane of daily life.
Sending love and light to all, including myself.