Happiness or Pollyanna-ness?

Happiness.  I’ve been writing a lot about being happy since I moved to my new home.  But thinking about it tonight, what is it that brings us happiness?  How do we define it?  I’ve always defined myself as a happy person.  Am I just a naive Pollyanna?

I said in this morning’s blog I was happy. Does that mean I’m happy about everything in my life, and the way it’s worked out? No. Of course I’m not. I am not happy about Trump’s election, first of all. I’m not happy that I’m still alone, after all these years. I’m not happy that I have plumbing issues in my new house that might cost me a lot of money to fix.

But, I’m happy, overall. I have family near me, family that loves me, that I love. I will get to spend Thanksgiving with my sister, the first time in decades. I have made an amazing bunch of friends here. I am living in a place of my choice, where the weather is rarely cold, where I am close to the ocean, and it is part of my life, part of the culture here. I am able to write as much or as little as I want. I’m getting my house turned into a home. Perhaps moreso than my home up north, because I have the time to spend on it, because I’m not working 45 hours a week.

I dreamed a dream, and it manifested. The happiness, the joy, comes from within. No one gives it to me. I don’t believe I need anyone to complete me. I am complete. But I would love to share my life with someone, someone who is also complete, all on his own.

Today, I finished painting the chairs for my kitchen table. I set up my guest room with a night stand and lamp. I put out some things on the built in shelves in the room. I put up a few more of my things that belong on the walls. Then my friend came over and she and I turned my kitchen into a banana bread production line with about half of the bananas that the guy who runs the community garden gave us. It turned out SOOO good.

When it went in the oven, we poured ourselves a glass of wine, and began looking up music on Youtube. She is looking for a new song to sing at open mic night. We talked and laughed. Then she rode her bicycle the few blocks home.

How could a day like that not make me happy? If I had a love interest in my life here, would that have made it better? Maybe. If I had a million bucks? Yeah, maybe. If my arthritis wasn’t causing my ankles to hurt when I walk, or I still didn’t have to watch what I eat, would I be happier? Of course. But the fact that none of these things were my life today didn’t stop me from having a great day, from being happy. I had a wonderful day.

And to top it off, it was in the high 70’s today, and will be low 60’s tonight. And bright sun all day. Perfection. And now, I’m about to watch a movie called Ondine, about a fisherman who catches a mermaid in his nets.

I guess that I’ve really come to understand that happiness is not getting everything we want, but from being happy with everything we have. Feeling grateful, just grateful.

Love and light.

6 responses to “Happiness or Pollyanna-ness?

  1. I’ve noticed as I get older, less people want me…. oh well, I didn’t cherish what I had when I was young… reminds me of Roy Clark’s song “Yesterday when I was young…”

  2. After two post divorce relationships, one abusive and one just stressful, I was single and celibate for five years. It seemed like a long time but I knew it was better for me than being in an unhealthy relationship. “Focus on friendship” was my motto back then.
    I needed that time to work on me and so did my soulmate. It sounds to me like you are getting ready. Love yourself. Trust the timing. 🙂

    • I too, took at least 5 years before I even considered dating. I really didn’t know who I was anymore, and that was my focus, to try to find the old me that my ex worked so hard at making disappear for all those years, (almost 40 years.) Even then, I didn’t see clearly. But I think, now that I’ve retired, and moved away from all that drama, literally, I am much more laid back about it, and much less likely to to attract the wrong kind of man. I hope, lol. I told someone last night that the urgency to find a mate has kind of dissipated with the move. If it happens it happens, and if it doesn’t, I’ve got this wonderful life….So yes, I trust myself, and the universe that what’s supposed to happen will. Big hugs to you.

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