I slept late this morning, for me. Until 7. I had a difficult night’s sleep. You know, where you are awake at 3 AM, and don’t know if you’ve slept yet. Obviously I had, because I am not dead tired today. I made my coffee, and came outside to enjoy this warm morning air. It is tropical again, for a couple days. Only down in the high 60’s at night, up to 80 in the day. There’s some warm air blowing in off the Gulf of Mexico, warm, moist, windy.
I sat down out here and all I could hear were the squirrels running up and down the branches of the banyan tree. They are not used to having human company out here, lol. If I was in New England, I’d know they were gathering acorns for the long winter. Here, I don’t know what they eat. There are only these kind of big nuts that fall off this tree, and not a lot of them. But I suppose the squirrels don’t have to worry about a season where no food can be found down here in Florida.
I’ve apparently been on a path that I needed to walk alone now, for some time. I’m hoping that is going to change soon. I’m tired of being alone. Not that I don’t have wonderful friends, but no one I can count on to be there in the dark of night, at 3 AM when I don’t know if I’ve slept or not. Maybe I’ll get lucky, and find a new best friend and lover. Maybe, though, my soul’s journey is to find my own peace. I think I’m getting pretty good at that, at recognizing distractions which don’t serve me well. Based on my dreams which I wrote about yesterday, maybe I’ve just been prepping for the big changes to come. Last night began the new moon, which is a good time to set new intentions, make new plans, do some introspection about your life, and redirect it if that’s what’s needed. It seems, that even if I wasn’t doing this in my waking life, my subconscious was. Thus the dreams about drastic changes.
I’ve learned to recognize those who just want something from you, without giving anything back. Users, it seems, unable to even acknowledge that a valid statement or concern was made. Back in the abuse community I used to belong to, for 5 years after I left my marriage, we called this behavior “blanking”. Ignoring another’s existence, except to continue to make demands of them. Glibly skimming the surface of life, without ever diving in and knowing the richness it can bring. Gotta feel sorry for those people. They’ll never have enough.
Then there are those who will do anything for you, and know that giving acknowledges having, and receiving. That the more we give the more we receive. Like Neil Young’s song “Comes a Time” he says, “We were young, we were giving. That’s how we kept what we gave away.” So much simpler of a life, to come from a place of giving, knowing that you’ll get back many times over that which you give.
All we can do is stay open to all the possibilities that come with each day’s sunrise. I guess that’s why I love sunrise so much. Every day brings it’s own set of possibilities. Gratitude fills me, for all my many blessings.
Love and light