I just went for an initial visit to my dentist here in FL. They just did x-rays and checked them. They found that when I had a wisdom tooth extracted about 5 years ago, a piece of tooth or root was left in my gum. And now has an infection. Which means, I now have to go back to an oral surgeon and pay to have my gum cut open again and the piece of whatever it is removed.

I am not happy about this. I hated the dr who removed that tooth in the first place. He was accepted by my insurance at the time, so I used him, but I disliked him from the beginning. I remember calling him days after the tooth was extracted and asking him why it still hurt so much. He told me I burned the socket using mouthwash. I used mouthwash after I threw up the damn Vicodin. Once. Because I didn’t take anymore Vicodin, lol. But that gum has hurt periodically since it was done. Now I know why. And now I have to go back and go through having my gum cut open again, to remedy his shoddy work. I am pissed off. But first I have to take a round of antibiotics. And I don’t know how much of that my insurance will pay, although I have considerably better insurance than I used to. I’m getting a crown done for $800, vs the $1450 it cost up north. But still….

I was in the dentists office, waiting as we do. Reading FB, WP, etc on my phone. The dentist and his hygienist are both immigrants with thick accents. Lovely people, really. Nice communication, very thorough. And as I waited and read, I thought, how terrified these people must be.

God it’s hard not to hate. I walked around for so many years in fear that I would unwittingly unleash a barrage at myself from my ex. It could have been over anything….. Talk about walking on eggshells. And this is what Cheetoman wants us to do. Live in fear of him, of his actions, his words. His hostility, his anger, his unpredictability. God, look what the man did to the Australian PM yesterday. One of our best and closest allies.

Tonight is open mic night, and I can’t wait. It will be good to sit and relax and be with like-minded people. I’ve not had a glass of wine all week, but I might tonight. I haven’t wanted to be in an altered state in any way lately, I guess because there is too much happening and I need to keep my head about me. So I may not tonight either. Might be a good night for herbal tea.

At any rate, my neck and back are not acting up today, which to me, means I’ve made some peace within myself as to how to proceed emotionally. I hope someone makes me laugh, really laugh tonight. I need that. I miss it in my life. It’s all been too serious lately. Too too too deadly serious.

I already took my walk today down by the water. I was pleased that when I went into the dentists office, the young dental assistant said, upon finding out I am retired, “You seem to keep yourself in pretty good shape.” !!! Nice coming from a young man maybe my son’s age! At least it gave me something to smile about. Oh, and three people complimented me on my pendant I was wearing, one of my wire wrapped creations. Now if someone would just make me laugh. Just to stop being so serious for a few minutes.

Onward we go. Love and light, everyone.