A Hard Sleep

Sleep came hard last night. I think it was mostly the antibiotics for my gum infection wreaking havoc on my digestive system. I finally figured it out and took a couple probiotics which seemed to solve the problem. Why I haven’t been taking them from the start, I don’t know. I know better. Anyway it was maybe 3 AM before I fell sound asleep. Woke at 8 AM.

I woke thinking about how well my son is doing at his job. He has no collegedegree, but the mobile phone company he works for is moving him to his own store and promoting him from assistant manager to manager, with a sizeable raise. Then he sent me a screen shot of the company’s national sales for yesterday, he was 2nd in the nation. He is regularly in the top 10.

And, he has his first gig to DJ his own music at a venue in Denver tomorrow night! He will be opening for someone else, that he really likes. He won’t get paid, but he will get really good exposure. So excited for him. I told him someone better video it and put it on FB.

Then, I thought, I wonder if I should call his dad and tell him how well he’s doing. It would probably give him a lift in the middle of a cold winter. But really…it’s not my news to tell. I will ask my son when I talk to him today if it’s ok. Sometimes I just feel sorry for my ex. Although, if he wanted to know how his son was doing he could just call me, and hasn’t since I’ve been in FL. I should probably just leave it alone.

It’s just that when your kid does really well you want to share it with someone who cares as much as you, which in a normal circumstance would be his father. But I can’t say his dad does, he makes stuff up about why son won’t talk to him, he has created “alternative facts” about it. And, it often just makes him mad that he has to find out about his son through me.

Still, I think he’d like to know. Then he could brag to people about him, and act like he is part of his life. Although….no one really talks to him except his sister occasionally and one of his cousins.

I’ll ponder it today. And talk to my son. My intuition is telling me it would be a nice thing to do. Then I remember that he’s not a nice person, and I am torn. It’s really my son’s call. It’s his news.

I have a lot to get done today, in preparation for my little sister to come on Tuesday. So excited about that. It will be SO much fun for the three of us to spend time together. So often when we are together it is a family reunion or something, where everyone is there, all the kids etc, and not generally for more than a few days. There are usually so many people to catch up with. But this is just us 3 sisters, for a week. For the first time in many years.

I’ve been out for 3 nights in a row. Open mic on Thursday, artwalk on Friday, and last night an art show for a school. Thing is, the last two things I really didn’t want to go to but had committed. Friday it was a friend’s birthday too, so we celebrated by buying him a pizza. I’m really feeling the need for solitude lately. Just putzing around my house, taking walks alone. I don’t know if it’s all the noise politically that I’m trying to get away from, or what. But just being alone, with my music, is really what I want. And then to just spend the week with family. I think I’ll get re-grounded.

Daily ruminations. I write, therefore I am, LOL.

Love and light, all.

2 responses to “A Hard Sleep

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