I went shopping today.
For potatoes and a pot roast,
For salad and avocadoes.
For shrimp and some fruit,
Bananas, raspberries, strawberries.

(Strawberries are in season here, now.
Red and ripe, juicy and sweet.)

I choose carefully,
The items I put in my cart.
For size, color, flavor,
Nutritional value.

Not quite like choosing friends.
Friends….
Chosen for laughter
For similarities
For kindness
For compassion.

Not quite like choosing a lover.
A lover….
All the qualities in a friend.
Except that they are somone
You want to see just before you fall asleep
In their arms
After a night, and maybe a day
Spent with them
Lost, but found.
Except they are someone
Whose eyes you want to look into
First thing
When you wake up
After a night spent with them
Lost, but found.

I guess shopping is one thing,
And choosing friends
And choosing lovers
Is quite another.

By Deborah E. Dayen, Picture from Google Images

 I was shopping today, and this idea was ruminating in my head.  I remembered when I first went on dating sites and a friend said, “Oh it’s so much fun!  It’s like shopping for men.”  And, I guess it kind of was, is.  Really, I just saw it as a way to meet people.  But then, one of my best friend’s brothers married someone he found online, from the Philippines, and they are happy.  So that might actually have been shopping for a mate.  I just can’t seem to connect shopping….choosing, selecting, paying for, bringing home for consumption….with love.  With a partner.  With sex.  Ain’t never happening for me.