Tough Day, Easy Day

Lou called me tonight, which is much better than a text. He has contact dermatitis, probably from the gym, on his face, so is kind of holed up in the house. He didn’t know what it was, but went to the dr. today. I don’t know why he didn’t say so last night, but it’s whatever.

It’s whatever, because he also told me tonight that he’s going to be going back to Ohio in 3 weeks, and for the most part will be gone for the next 6 months. Seems he probably could have said that on our first date….but he didn’t. That was so long ago, and he didn’t expect to be gone most of that time. He said he really likes me, and my company, but of course it’s not fair to me, lol. And really, I’ve known there was something going on, but at least it wasn’t me or something I did.

I’m fine with it. As I’ve said, I knew something was happening with that connection. I think, from what he said and didn’t say, he went home last week, wanting more, and realizing during the next few days it was real soon that he’d be leaving. With all the back and forth he’s had to Ohio, he just kind of lost track of the time, and how soon he’d be leaving. I like him, but I knew there were some big differences under the surface anyway. He’s still so sweet, we talked for a long time, even after he told me he was leaving. I told him call me when you’re here…who knows.

I had to talk to my ex this afternoon. That was a living fucking nightmare. OMG. I can’t even go into the circular conversations he starts that I can’t stand. He called me is wife like 3 times, and each time I corrected him, I am NOT your wife. (We’ve been divorced 8 years, apart 10.) Like I said the other day, he still considers me his wife. Geezus. He wants to tell my son he was talking to me and I’m trying to help him rebuild his relationship with him. I said, “leave me out of it.” I also finally got him to shut up long enough to say, “You haven’t talked to him in what, 6 years? Why don’t you try it his way, instead of yours?” He’ll never do it anyone’s way but his own, and so, he’ll never have a relationship with his son. It’s sad, but it’s the way it is.

Then he wants me to forgive all the money he owes me, lol. So he doesn’t have to put it on a credit app. Sure…. Never acknowledging that I could have had him put in jail for contempt of court for not paying me. I have a court order that says that’s what would happen if I took him back for non-payment, and I just couldn’t do it. Just, wipe his slate clean, despite the choice he made to spend probably $150K to try to keep me from getting my fair portion of our estate. Never being accountable for blowing through 100’s of $1000’s…. Just wipe it clean, Deb. Help him out.

No. Even though I’ll never see any of it, no. He can deal with the decisions he made that ruined his life, and almost mine and our sons.

He seems to think we have a new relationship now, that the past is behind us. I said, “no….the relationship is the one we’ve always had.” As if the slate is wiped clean of the daily, hourly, abuse I lived with for so long because he’s broke. And should be my son. What an asshole. He has so many stories…all of them bullshit. Not to mention he still talks over me every time I try to say anything. I finally started saying “I’m going to hang up if you keep doing this.” Like over and over, for about 5 minutes while he rambled on. So I finally hung up.

And had 2 glasses of wine.

I don’t ever like to say I hate someone. I really don’t, and I know he’s just a dumb fuck, trying to avoid looking in the mirror. But God, every time I have to talk to him, I hang up the phone hating him, however briefly. I tried to do the right thing, and hear him out. I wish him the best, but once he signs the quitclaim for my slip, I hope I never talk to him again.

Other than that, I spent the afternoon at the gallery, cleaning up, putting some things in order. It wasn’t busy, but it was a nice afternoon. Thursday I think they’ll give me the info so I can start doing their books. We have to get the artists paid for the art that was sold on Saturday, so there begins to be a little urgency to getting the books up to speed.

Been an interesting day. Tough in places. Easy in others. But good. All good.

Love and light.

2 responses to “Tough Day, Easy Day

    • Well he definitely has a pickled brain, but that is really only a symptom of a much deeper illness. I can see it, but I am unable to deal with it any longer. I can’t believe I stayed with him 40 years. I’ll be glad when he does this one remaining thing and I can block him on my phone.

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