Today was an interesting day. The fall-out from yesterday slowed some from the frantic pace of yesterday, but it had it’s moments. It was trying. It was not quite at the emotional level of yesterday, but not too far below it.

My ex called me from the hospital. He had a new delusion today. He was sure that my son’s car had broken down on the highway near me, that my son was on his way to sell an amplifier to someone, and he was in trouble. And I needed to go help him. I could not convince him that my son was in Colorado, and at work. He tried to get me to say I was in CT for a week, and when I said I was not he got angry.

When I hung up the phone I called the psychiatrist again. She wasn’t in, so I was transferred to the floor nurse. I told her about his call. She knew he was agitated. I told her I didn’t know how to deal with his phone calls, that I had no experience with mental illness. But that if he continued to get agitated, he might lose his temper and he has a terrible temper. I asked if I should have just played along with him. She said that would be a good idea. Soon he called back, and I told him not to worry, I would go get my son and he was fine He said he was so confused and then thanked me, sincerely.

I called the psychiatrist and related the whole episode to her. Telling her yet again, to please not release him, that he has no grip at all on reality and could be a danger to himself or anyone.

The whole thing made my heart ache, and my stomach upset, to have to listen to his earnest delusion and realize how far gone he was. I tried to find a therapist for myself today, which was ridiculously hard, but am now waiting for a call back.

My sis and brother-in-law came over and took me to dinner. We went to the Italian place we’ve been dying to go to. It was delicious and just what I needed. A couple of friends called me to check on me. I am very blessed in that regard.

Love and light.