I sure had my fill of insanity this week.
It started with the drunken phone call from someone I thought was a friend, who turned out to be someone completely different, with different intentions than I had ever thought. I have finished now, deleting all the texts, voice mails, and emails from this person over the last 3 years. I have a lot of blogs about this person, but I don’t have to read them. There is no record of him here, except records of phone calls, but I don’t have to look at those so I’m ok with that.
Then of course, Sunday’s traumatic events with my ex, with all the stuff I had to deal with, in relation to it. That went on through the week. Yesterday though, I didn’t talk to anyone about it. I don’t really want to know any more. I found out they are, and probably have by now, gotten him a court order to force his meds on him by injection. And he hates needles. They will see his temper if they come at him with a needle, but that would probably be a good thing, for them to see him get violently angry. I may call to see where that stands. I only want to keep in touch with them so I’ll know if they’re thinking of releasing him.
Then, Wednesday night. I went to bed sometime between 10:30 and 11, after my friends all left. They’d come over for moral support, and we’d had pizza and wine. It was really nice, to have friends who genuinely were concerned for me. At 12:30 AM someone started banging on my front door. It woke me out of a sound sleep. I waited to hear it again, because some of you know, that weird energy happens to me at times, like my smoke alarm going off, or the phone ringing, and it stops as soon as I’m awake. This time, as I lay there, eyes wide open, disoriented, the knocking happened again. Ok, freaking me out a little. Who the hell is knocking on my front door at 12:30 at night?? And then it happened again.
I got out of bed, and peered through my bedroom curtain. I can’t see the door from there, but could see the step up to my door. As I watched, what appeared to be a young black woman, with a back pack and her hair up on her head, walked off my stoop, and to the end of my driveway, where she stood. Obviously not knowing what to do next. Then she walked across the street, and stood in front of the house across the street. She made motions with her arms, like “What do I do now?” I think perhaps she lives in that house, but it was completely dark, and there were no cars in the driveway, which is unusual, there’s usually one. Then after standing there a few minutes, she walked back across the street diagonally, toward houses farther down the street, and out of my view.
To say it scared the shit out of me is an understatement. Of course, when she was gone, I started worrying about her, like was she in trouble, or danger, or something. Well, there were no cars on the street. She was not trying to hide, not acting like she didn’t want to be seen. It’s possible that she was just locked out of her house. But at any rate, I was not going to answer the door in the middle of the night for someone I didn’t know. I realized that it was a warm night, in the 70’s, and she would not be harmed by sitting outside all night.
But it took me a long while to be able to think about going back to sleep. When I did, my allergies decided it was a good time to swell my sinuses, and may my nose run, and make it impossible to breathe. I can’t sleep and breathe through my mouth. I had taken an allergy med already, didn’t want to take more. I ended up with a few hours of bad sleep.
Yesterday, I had promised to run my friend Pat around so she could get some errands done, because she no longer has a car. I told her to pack some stuff to spend the night here, because we’d be going to open mic and I didn’t want to have to drive her home after. I got about a 45 min. nap before we went, which was just enough to get me through the night. It was so good to just sit there, and melt into the comfy outdoor couch they have. I didn’t even want to talk. I had a glass of jasmine mint tea, did not even want a drink. I totally needed to just mellow out, so that I could sleep last night, and I did. When we got back to my house, we sat on the deck for about 20 minutes, had a piece of apple pie, and a smoke, and went to bed. I slept 8 good solid hours. No nightmares, no one coming into my dreams that I didn’t want there.
Today, my sis is coming to stay with me. We’re going to my friend’s play again, because my sis wants to see it. Tomorrow we’re going to one of the St. Pete beaches for a couple hours. It’s been around 90 here for a couple days, so it’s perfect timing for the beach. Though it will be busy, though when the beaches here are busy it’s like a slow day in New England, lol. Because all the beaches are free and there are many. That will be fun.
There are boat races in the bay this weekend. I just took my walk down on the waterfront, and they have closed many of the streets off along the water. There were tons of vendors setting up, and a kind of boat show of mostly fishing boats. Lots of food vendors too. However, the vendors had taken all of the public parking along the water, which is the majority of the parking in this small town. So I have no idea where people are supposed to park. A few of my friends are playing at one or two of the bars along the water Saturday night and Sunday. I kind of wanted to go see them, but don’t have any idea where we could park.
So all’s well that ends well. My life here is still wonderful, there are challenges but there always will be. As long as I can stay grounded, I’ll be ok.
Love and light.