Wrap-up

My ex is being released from the hospital tomorrow. They can’t hold him legally more than 15 days unless he’s a threat to himself and others. He’s taking the meds, orally, because he hates needles so much. The social worker said he is much less angry and confrontational when they present him with the actual truth since taking the meds, but that he has this fixed delusion about me and my son which does not change. At this point, it is mostly about my son. He’s apparently written me off, since I would not support him in the delusion that I was in CT spending the week with him. At the hearing about his meds, he told them, “Don’t listen to my wife, she’s a drug addict.” He firmly believes my son lives in CT, and is coming to see him at any moment. He comes up with a new excuse every time he doesn’t show up. The latest is that “his mother made him bring some stuff to Florida so he has to drive down there.”

She said he seems quite functional in every other aspect of his life. He talks about needing to get home and pay his bills. They tested him for dementia and there is none. He’s simply delusional. I didn’t get the actual diagnosis but have a call into her again, now, just to ask that question.

I am not particularly upset that he’s being released. He won’t take his meds, and will become more delusional as a result, but we just have to wait for that to happen and they’ll bring him back. I don’t think he’s capable of coming down here, nor would want to, now that I’m a drug addict. My son is moving so even if he had his address, he won’t as of next week. I’m pretty sure that he doesn’t remember that he got it, let alone could figure out how to get to CO. My sister is somewhat concerned, but the social worker said he has not brought his old home into the delusion at all. I advised her to call the police anyway, aprise them of the situation, so that if she needs them they will take it seriously.

The one good thing is that she and I have now re-established a relationship. We used to be close. When my ex started a fight with me the day before I was scheduled to be induced into labor, it was to her house I went, and she went with me to the hospital and spent the day with me. The falling out was a result of my ex wanting to isolate my son and I from his family, and from her somewhat intuitive knowledge that he only brought chaos into people’s lives. She no longer thinks that I talk to him, or in any way would talk to him about her. She said when I come to CT in the fall, she hopes I’ll stop by and see her.

I spoke to my son and told him about his dad being released.  I said to him that the lesson is “don’t isolate yourself from the world, ever.  Cultivate and maintain people in your life.  We’re social animals.  We need other people in our lives.”  He agreed, and seriously, he’s one of the most social people I know, lol.  I once said to him, “Someday you may want your own place, by yourself.”  He said, “no, I need people around.  I don’t want to live alone.”  I’m grateful for that.  Very grateful.

So ends another chapter of ridiculous drama in my life. I have a feeling there will be more, with him, before it’s over. Perhaps though, I won’t be as directly involved. It’s another hope I have.

Love and light, everyone.

9 responses to “Wrap-up

  1. He sounds like a lost soul, or a lost cause, is it drink or drugs related? Was he always unhinged? I know for some folks what starts out as eccentricity turns out “batshit crazy”, is the official terminology I believe? Sigh! Xx

    • He is a lost soul, Ogden. there are lots of factors I think. He was controlling and abusive when I was with him, that’s why I left him. And a pathological liar. Now, he believes the lies he makes up…and he is an alcoholic. I think that the alcohol is secondary though, a symptom of deep seated issues. I’m just glad I live 1500 miles away now, and that my son is 2000 miles away from him.

        • You’re so right. My son for a brief moment felt slightly culpable, that maybe his refusal to talk to his father might have caused some of it. I reminded him what he always told me, “Mom, it’s his own fault that he is where he is.” I tried many times to tell him how he could reconnect to his son, but he just couldn’t do it. It’s sad to watch, but the cords have been cut. His life is his own.

  2. There is such a thing as outpatient commitment. where if the person stops treatment, the authorities are notified and investigate/pick him up. I wonder if that’s an option.

    • I don’t really know for sure, but it was not mentioned to me as a possibility so I’m thinking probably not an option. They know he’s delusional and that he won’t take his meds or go to a dr. appointment once he gets out. They just wait for him to have another episode and bring him back in. Maybe because he hasn’t threatened anyone. It seems ridiculous to me. I’m glad my son and I are a long ways away from him, that’s for sure.

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