Remember in Eat Pray Love when Ketut tells Liz Gilbert that to be out of balance for love is part of the balance of life? That’s me….that’s where I’m at.
It’s in a good way. It’s not, like in the past, because I was crazy about someone who isn’t capable of reciprocating it. Not because this man is selfish, or self-centered, or narcissistic or sociopathic. It’s not because red flags are flying that I’m trying to explain away.
It’s because he’s so kind, and sweet, and loving, and considerate to be with. Because our relationship matters to him, as much as it does to me.
I find my personal schedule disrupted. Like staying up late, way late. Sleeping late, way late. Not taking my morning walk. Not doing my meditation. Somehow, I have to get back to a schedule that allows me this practice. I’m not even writing nearly as much. Yet….that schedule didn’t include time for love, because it wasn’t in my life.
Now that it is…I need to figure out a way to fit it all in, to modify where I can, and hold onto myself, the thing about me that make me, me. The woman D loves. And make sufficient time for he and I, because we enjoy it so much.
It’s not at a critical place yet. It’s only been a month. But I see my stuff slipping and I know in the end I need these things to be in my life for this to work. I know this is also true for him, in reverse.
It’s kind of a wonderful, lovely dilemma. But a dilemma, nonetheless. I’m sure he and I will solve it between us. Which is an amazing, wonderful place for me to find myself.
Love and light everyone.