Our “writers group” met tonight. We did actually talk about writing quite a bit, and art. They gave me some hints about writing fiction. Since my issue is trying to make up a completely fictional story, to fictionalize experiences from my own life. And BOY, do I have those I could write about, and fictionalize. I’m going to try it. I think it will really help me change my mindset to enable writing fiction.

I told the girls that my problem with fiction is that I have had to deal with reality all my life. Being in an abusive marriage for so long taught me to deal with reality and to stay in the moment. If I fantasized it was about just being out from under that stress. I may have fantasized when I was with S, for a little while, until he made sure my world came crashing down on me, teaching me to know better than to dream. And then I stole his pain, and let myself get set up for it over and over again.

Now that that is over, and I am in a close, loving, relationship with D, maybe I can find the safety I need emotionally to use my imagination in my writing. And I’ll start by writing about some of the experiences I’ve had, but fictionalizing them. Changing the names, and places, but keeping the basic lesson as it was given to me. It will be interesting to see if I can accomplish this, and broaden my writing.

The women who come over for these meetings all know D, and all of them really like him. They are so happy for me, knowing what I’ve been through. It’s nice to be with someone who wants me to stop and say hi to his mother, and can give my friends a hug at open mic night.

Love and light everyone.