My longtime readers know that I had a very turbulent, difficult relationship with Scott. It ended completely a couple months ago, and into my life walked Dan, who I’ve referred to as D. We have everything I ever dreamed of having in a relationship. Trust, love, laughter, families, friends. It’s more than awesome. It’s rich and full and lasting.
I have not heard from Scott since, directly, since that time. He has been commenting on my friend’s blog, https://myjourneyintodarkness.wordpress.com/ where he outted himself to her, as “the infamous Scott.” I have ignored these comments, because he always told me he liked her writing, and they were not directed at me, at least, not overtly.
In the last couple of days I have come to find hat this week, since late in the day Monday June 5, he has visited my blog about 40 times. Yes, 40 times in 3 ½ days. As far as I’m concerned that borders on obsession. I have only written about him in the last maybe 6 weeks a couple of times, and that was only as to his place chronologically in something I was learning about myself. I’m not sure what he’s looking for, and it really doesn’t matter.
I also found out that his old girlfriend (or maybe they are back together by now, I have no idea) reads it pretty much every day, though she only visits once or twice a day.
It is weird to me. I have made it clear that I have found what I was looking for all along. The relationship with him ended badly, as it always did. He was on the verge of coming here, had a ticket bought, he and the old girlfriend had broken up a couple months before. I cancelled it 5 days before, for good and valid reason, and knew that what he had to offer was not what I wanted in my life. I will always love some things about him, but the chaos, negativity, selfishness, and inability to be faithful and many of the choices he makes were not what I could stand to have in my life. I tried to stay friends, it was not possible.
He and the girlfriend had broken up many times for many months in the past. I met him during a time when they were broken up for 18 months. I told him this time to just wait, that eventually she’d want him back. He said maybe so, but he didn’t want her, which I have no way of knowing if it were true or not. He could have been saying that for my benefit. It could have been true.
I write this stuff here so there is clarity for both of them. Why either of them is reading is up to supposition, and I’m not willing to put my thoughts out here regarding what I may think, because I have no way of knowing, and I don’t think it’s my place to put out any theories as to the why.
I do know that it makes me uncomfortable to know he is stalking me like that, checking my blog for a new entry 17 times yesterday. I don’t really care that she reads it. I can’t imagine what she gets out of reading a blog about her boyfriends ex-lover’s new relationship. But it’s none of my business.
At least now, you both know what the other is doing. Maybe you should talk to each other. Maybe you are. I don’t know, and more importantly I don’t care. But I think you should understand that I have moved on, to a new life, a new love, and am happier than I’ve been in decades. That is what I write about mostly now, and will continue to be. It has to be boring for both of you. I am not trying to make you jealous Scott, and Betty, there is no cover up going on here anymore. I am done.
I wish you both well, and I hope you go on with your own lives and find the happiness that I have managed to find.
Love and light.