Middle Of The Night Musings

I slept for an hour and a half, and woke up and am too fidgety, even with the Ambien. So, I’m doing what I do. Writing it out.

Soon, I’ll be with my friends, and Dan will be included in that circle. I’m happy about that. I’m happy to show him my places. Tonight I got an email from the Block Island Express, which used to be one of my favorite summer trips. Maybe we’ll do that! Or Newport RI. Or both.

But first before the fun starts, I have to call the atty when I get in and find out the status of the whole situation. Find ouf it he’s being committed somewhere, and did her appointment go through, and can she give me a copy of the appointment for the landlord so that I can have access to his stuff. And can I pick it up Friday morning and go over there?

If all answers are yes, which I expect, then Friday I’ll get the paperwork from her, just a short drive, and then will meet the landlord. And will find myself in my old neighborhood for the day. There is no fence between the cottage and my old house. It sits there, looking doomed, disregarded, sad, given up. It could have been such a nice house. The tallest tree on the lake is in front of it, a tulip tree. The yard is terraced down to the lake. There is lots of mountain laurel around the house, and other shrubs now overgrown and hiding the windows, I’m sure. The guy who bought it hasn’t done anything with it yet. There are no lost dreams there anymore, because my dream the last years I was there was to get out of there. I’ve not missed my house on the lake for a moment since I left. It could have been, but it wasn’t. I accepted that a long time ago.

I wish I’d thought to bring a smudge stick for the cottage, and cleanse some of his energy out of there.

But I’ll see my old next door neighbors, and we’ll talk, and I’m betting they will want to help. The friends I’m staying with will probably come over too, so that will be nice. And if not, it’s nice enough that they are having us.

Dan has been so tender, so sweet. He’s been my rock, just loving me. Being who and what I need every minute. It is not a coincidence we found each other when we did.

Time to go back to bed, and try to sleep. Maybe do a little meditation first to quiet my mind.

Love and light all.

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